Grandpa,
I recently retired and have been watching some of those true crime shows on television. I am seeing my own life and marriage played out in pieces of several of the shows. My wife is (several) years younger than I. We have only been married (a few) years and I have a hefty life insurance policy that I took out when my kids were little. When I married (current wife) I switched the policy to make her the beneficiary. And she spends money like it grows on trees. I love her and don’t want to think the thoughts I am thinking. Am I paranoid? Or am I just watching too much TV?
Grandpa says: I would not bet on any of the possibilities. Too many variables. If your children are grown, cash in the life policy. Buy one of those final expense policies that won’t give anyone any motive. Cancel your credit cards and get separate checking accounts. Talk to your children about your thoughts. And, most importantly, talk with your wife. Let her know what you are thinking. Do you keep a diary or a journal? Do so. And, yes, seek out a good counselor. Then do everything in your power to make yourself so durned loveable that she would want you to be with her forever. Chances are she already does. But it never hurts to butter the toast while it is still warm.
Grandpa,
AAHHHHHG! My in-laws are moving to (The Fox River Valley) from (their home out of state). My husband moved from (several states away) to go to college in order to get out from under their thumb. We met in college and have been married for (very few) years. I am expecting our first child. His parents are extremely annoying. They call every few days to ask about things that are none of their business, give advice on how we should live, how we should budget our money, and what we should name our baby.
They are moving here so they can raise the baby while I go back to work to help cover the cost of this unplanned child. Grandpa, we knew what we were doing when we decided to stop using birth control and let nature take over. My husband makes a good income and I have a job that allows me to be a full-time mom and a part-time realtor. We don’t need the grandparents from Hell to raise our child.
Grandpa says: Having grandchildren of my own, I know the joys that your in-laws are looking forward to having. I would never begrudge a person those joys. See Proverbs 17:6. Your in-laws sound too enthusiastic and that is threatening to your independence. Do things your way because it is your core family; you, your husband, and your baby. Welcome your in-laws with open arms during appropriate times. Be kind, loving, gentle, and firm with them about the need for privacy and nuclear family time together. Grandparents are an important part of a child’s life as long as the parents do the up-bringing.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123, Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.