Grandpa,
I live with my boyfriend and his mother. I am (several) months pregnant. He owns quite a few snakes, rats, lizards, a dog, and has chickens in a coop in the back yard. I can deal with the chickens and even the large dog, but I hate the fact that he has these rats and lizards and snakes. I keep telling him that it is not healthy for the baby to have all of these creatures in the house. The house always smells just like a zoo. I cannot move out because of my financial situation. I cannot afford to make waves or I will have no place to live. Help me convince him to get rid of the animals and air out the house.
Grandpa says: Sounds to me like you didn’t pay much attention to the critters when you were busy getting into a family way and moving in with him. You don’t tell me anything about your relationship with him or his mother. Does he take you to your medical appointments? If so, invite him to come in and talk with the doctor about your concerns. If not, ask him to take you so the doctor can talk to him. Have you discussed your feelings with his mother? Is he financially able to support you and a child, or are you both dependent on his mother to survive? You give me no indication as to your ages. My gut tells me that all three of you are struggling financially. I would suggest you contact your county’s health department and ask them about family counseling to get all of you on the same page, at least about the health of your unborn child. You three are adults. The baby is the only one who needs to be dependent on anyone. You need to focus on what is best for the child, not what is best for the reptiles and rodents. Start by contacting the health department for guidance and counseling.
Grandpa,
There is a delightful elderly widow in our church. She is very lonely and needs a man in her life. My husband and I have tried to fix her up with some eligible gentlemen, but it has never worked out. She puts on a front that she is happy in her life, but we know better. She spends so much time at the senior center, volunteering at the church and other places, and visiting her children and grandchildren. I am sure she is doing that to stay out of that big lonely house. I offered to have a realtor friend of mine list the house for sale so she can get a smaller apartment. She won’t even entertain the notion. Short of talking to her children, I don’t know what else I can do.
Grandpa says: My beloved grandfather used to tell me the best way to beautify the neighborhood was to keep my yard looking nice. I suggest you tend to your yard and let her care for hers. Is that a polite enough way to say, “Mind your own business”? I hope so.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123, Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.