Ask Grandpa: Expressions of grief take various forms

Ask Grandpa
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Grandpa,
My husband’s sister is a widow. Her husband died (many) years ago after (a long marriage). She is still wearing black, still refuses to date, and is quite depressing to be around. I had heard that when couples truly are in love, the surviving spouse dies shortly after being widowed. So why is my sister-in-law still living and allegedly grieving? Shouldn’t she have either finished her grieving or passed on by now?

Grandpa says: I have heard the same stereotype about survivors passing soon after the beloved spouse has gone. And that is true in many cases. Grandpa believes that we must factor in co-dependency. Loving couples can become enmeshed into one another’s lives so deeply that one cannot literally go on without the other. Other couples are individually independent and yet deeply in love. Grandpa won’t hazard to guess which is a healthier relationship because every couple must find what is right for them. Be grateful for your sister-in-law ‘shaving had a good man in her life for as long as she did. Grief takes different ways. Allow her to live her life.

Grandpa,
I noticed that once again this year you did nothing in the way of Black history articles. It is obvious that you are a racist. Shame on you!

Grandpa says: It is true that I wrote nothing pertaining to Black History. First, try to understand that I answer questions that are sent to me. Notice I wrote nothing about space aliens, either. I do not hate space aliens; I just received no mail on the topic. Same with Black History. Frankly, I see some activities that started out to promote peace amongst people as becoming separatist. Why do we not celebrate Human history, the story of the history of all people working together? How can any one group have a history that does not include all groups? People are people are people. Let us all forget about the differences and celebrate the likenesses. That is what God does.

Grandpa,
What is the difference between tithes and offerings?

Grandpa says: A tithe is one-tenth or10% of one’s gain. The original word in Hebrew is maaser which means one-tenth. In Greek duoapo means something separated. It is what the Lord asked for in return from the bounty he has given to us. An offering is a donation. The Hebrew word minchah means donation or tribute. The Greek word prophero means to bring forward. As commonly used today, a tithe is the tenth of our income from all sources. It is money used by the church to cover the operating costs of the church. An offering, on the other hand, can be in any amount. It can be donated to a specific cause or project, or it can be undesignated to be used as the receiving church or charity sees fit. Not all offerings are given to a church. Offerings are often given to charities such as food banks, animal protection societies, hospitals, and so forth. Note: political donations do not fit the biblical definition of offering.

Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123,
Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.

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