Grandpa,
When I got out of prison (some) years ago, I continued to write to a friend who was still inside. When she got out a couple of months ago, we made arrangements to meet and I introduced her to my family. I never told my family that she was HIV positive because I never suspected it would be any sort of an issue. I am now getting suspicious of the relationship between her and my husband. I have no proof that he is cheating on me with her, just suspicions. I have stopped having (physical relations) with him because I don’t want to risk getting her disease. If I say anything to him, he will either get angry or lie to me, so I will never know for sure what is going on. I don’t want to lose her friendship if I am wrong. What is my next logical step?
Grandpa says: First get yourself to your doctor and tell her or him what you told me. Then, his attitude be damned, tell your husband that she is positive and you are suspicious. Who cares if he gets angry or lies? You owe it to both of you to warn him. Honey, if he is “mowing her lawn” you have already lost her friendship. Your friendship with her may have been important to you in prison, which is fine. But out in the world, your husband’s friendship with her is way out of line. No true gentleman would ever allow himself to be put in the position of being suspect in such an affair. End the friendship or end the marriage. It is all just a matter of time. Until then, let hubby know that nothing happens at home until he gets a clean bill of health from a good doctor. If he chooses to take his affections elsewhere, it is his choice. You have to protect yourself.
Grandpa,
I have heard of individuals posting dirty pictures of ex-mates on the internet, but this one has me angrier than anything else. My ex-girl friend posted pictures of my ID on a (social media) page! My driver’s license, my social security card, my birth certificate, even my credit cards! I would rather have had the dirty pictures posted! At least that wouldn’t cost me anything but some embarrassment. This is going to cost me my identity!
Grandpa says: When I got your E-mail, I immediately replied with the advice you needed to protect yourself; freeze your credit, cancel your cards, notify the police and join a reputable credit monitoring service. It is now up to you to do your part to remain vigilant in your self-protection. Should the state’s attorney choose to prosecute your ex, cooperate fully so that she is held accountable. When you do your restitution questionnaire, include all of the costs to you, including your membership fee to the credit monitoring service. You can seek a civil suit against her, even if the criminal system won’t prosecute. Remember, you only have the rights that you choose to protect. I bid you peace.
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