Grandpa,
A friend of mine lives in (a bordering state). He owns (a large farm), where it is perfect for hunting crows. Crow season starts July 1. He will not allow me to come to his property to hunt the crows. He will not explain why, he just says no hunting of anything on his property. He is ruining our friendship by his negative attitude.
Grandpa says: There are many reasons your friend could have for not allowing hunting on his property. I might tend to guess that a very good one would be the liability aspect. Another might be he or someone living there might have a felony in their background and be prohibited from having access to fire arms. I could sit here all day and list possible reasons for the ban on hunting. The point is, it is his property, and he has the legal right to disallow hunting on his land. If anyone is ruining the friendship, it is you, by your lack of respect for his decision.
Grandpa,
(Many) years ago when my husband and I married, one of the promises I made to him was that I would serve him up to 19 home cooked meals a week and he promised to take me out not less than twice a week. In time, especially when money was short, the meals out became less of a priority. I ended up cooking all of them as well as making snacks for him. I packed his lunch box every day. I never left it up to him to pour his own corn flakes. Yet, we just did never around to going out. I was even happy to count dinner invitations for holidays as a day out. I figure over the years he owes me more nights out than I owe him home-cooked meals. He said that if I am counting snacks then when we had gone to the movies, the popcorn, and soda counted as nights out. In good-hearted banter, we decided to let you play judge and resolve our situation. How would you, as our arbitrator, propose to even the scales?
Grandpa says: After that many years, all of those meals past are just water under the street. Start fresh. You give me no idea about your financial situation. I received your letter and am writing this before the travel ban is lifted. I recommend that until such time as the travel ban is lifted, you each prepare nine meals per week and go to drive-throughs, or get home-delivered meals three times per week. After the ban is lifted things will change. Meals out should be at Mom & Pop operations, locally-owned establishments in your neighborhood. You can patronize the various charity dinner events such as fish fries, spaghetti suppers, and the like. The point need not be just to get out of the kitchen. Focus on social events, helping rebuild and sharing the good times in life. If you do as I suggest, you will soon learn to quit counting whose turn it is to cook.
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