Grandpa,
Have you ever heard of putting chopped apples and nuts into potato salad? My sister-in-law did it and totally ruined a family get-together. I was the only one with enough gumption to publicly call her out on it. Everyone else was too afraid to hurt her feelings. Potato salad, as I told her, should be just cubed potatoes, mayonnaise, and pickle relish. Some ruin it by putting in mustard, but this (deleted) went so far as to put apples and walnuts. She is never going to be invited to bring that (deleted) to anything I am host!
Grandpa says: I envy your bravado. I would never have the nerve to make a public spectacle of my ignorance and intolerance. But to then have it published in the newspaper is just going above and beyond. If you did not like the potato salad, you were not compelled to eat it. Some like variety. The idea of apple pieces in various salads, pulled meat dishes, and other savory foods is as old as apples themselves. Apples can add a bit of sweet or even tart, depending on which apples are used. This tantalizes the tongue and pleases the pallet. If you don’t like it, that is your option. Just stop berating others for having different likes. I suspect your rage is based on something other than her recipe.
Grandpa, What is a sheepcote?
Grandpa says: The only place I have encountered that word is in the KJV Bible. In 1 Sam 24:3, the word translated from Hebrew gidrathhasso’n, meaning a stone sheepfold. In 2 Sam 7:8 and 1Chr 17:7, the Hebrew word is naweh, which means a place for pasture. In 2Chr 32:28 we see the term cotes for flocks. It is a rendering of the Hebrew aweroth, meaning stalls or pens. Cotes is an Old English word that has lost its usage in The United States.
Grandpa,
Since my twin daughters were born, we always had them do everything together. Playing, eating, even bathing. I am now very sorry that we did that. They are now (pre-teens). I went into their bedroom and saw them in sexual play together. I punished them and made them pray to Mother Mary for forgiveness. We don’t have enough bedrooms to separate them. What can I do to keep them from becoming lesbians?
Grandpa says: First, you need to understand that “sexploration” is normal for that age. It is not necessarily an indication of future orientation. Grandpa takes exception to the idea of punishment by forcing children to fear God, or any imagined substitute for a loving and forgiving God.
Try this approach: Explain to your daughters that there are some things that you believe to be wrong. Be emphatic about the fact that you accept them for who they are and love them each as individuals, no matter what life brings to them. You will be amazed at what will happen when you show tolerance and love to your children. Guide them in your beliefs, but expect some teenage rebellion. Let them express without fear of condemnation.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123,
Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.