Grandpa,
For more than 30 years they were going to get rid of plastic bags. You could put plastic bags in different size plastic bags. It would make different size pillows. Very comfortable to adjust to your body. Try it. P.S. you will be surprised how many plastic bags you can put in different size plastic bags.
Grandpa says: No! Do Not Try It! Grandpa was tempted to delete your suggestion that plastic bags be used as pillows. Never put plastic bags, wrap, or other pliable plastic into anybody’s bed. Every year thousands of individuals of all ages are killed because plastic covered their airway and they could not breathe. Please take your bags back to the stores to be recycled. Grandpa iterates, do not make pillows out of plastic bags.
Grandpa,
Humans are killing our planet. It is fighting back. That is why we have wildfires, severe storms, pandemics, and so many other tragedies. Our planet wants to support life, but not destructive life. Wildlife does nothing to destroy the planet. Only man destroys what nature has given us! It all can be explained in my book (title withheld by Grandpa) and web site (address withheld by Grandpa). My book is available at (information withheld by Grandpa).
Grandpa says: Are you serious?! Do you honestly think that you can trick me into peddling your money-making scheme? I am not sure if you truly believe this theory, but if you do, more power to you. If not, Grandpa is not happy to be invited to spread it. In either case, this column is not the venue to peddle or even advertise your book and website. You can call The Voice office and buy advertising space. They will be happy to run full color print ads giving out all of the information you choose to share.
Grandpa,
My brother and I share an apartment. We each have our own room. He rarely brings women home to spend time with him. Today he informed me that he is engaged to be married. I have never even met this girl and he expects me to condone his marriage. They will be getting a place of their own. That means I will be stuck with the full cost of the apartment. I don’t like being blind-sided like that. I want to have words with his bride-to-be, but my brother will not introduce her to me.
Grandpa says: It sounds to me as if your family is not so closely knit as one might expect from two brothers sharing an apartment. Has he told you the wedding date? Is he planning to marry after the end of the lease? Whose name is on the lease? Other than your wanting to give your future sister-in-law a piece of your mind, why won’t he let you meet her? Has anyone else in your family met her? There are so many variables in this equation that Grandpa cannot advise more than to suggest you two open up the lines of communication. You are going only on fear and suspicion, not facts.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123,
Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.