Editor’s note: Recently in The Voice, the announcement was made of the death of the conductor of the column, Ask Grandpa, which provided readers with 503 weeks of sage advice, humor, and continuity. Below is the repeat of the February 18, 2021 column. The Voice will continue to offer previous columns. We invite special requests of previous columns.
Grandpa,
I don’t know if this is a scam or if “authorities” in Chicago are just reaching out beyond their legal boundaries again. Every year at this time I get a cold. It has been happening for years and it is just a part of life with which I deal and accept. I go to the same pharmacy that I have been using for years. I use its little incentive card that tracks what I buy to offer me coupons. I got a phone call from someone claiming to be from the Cook County Health Department. They told me that the pharmacy reported that I was buying cold and flu medication and they want me to make an appointment to be tested for COVID-19. It is “mandatory”. I told them to (kiss) off because I do not live in Cook County. They never asked for money or a payment of any sort so I am not sure if it is a scam. Am I out of bounds to ignore this so-called mandate?
Grandpa says: It is not a bad idea to get tested. Monitoring your health is never a bad idea. I would not make the appointment through anyone who calls on the telephone. Not all scams start by asking for money. It sounds as though it is a twist on a very old scam where individuals would watch the society pages to see who might be at a wedding or other function and rob the houses while the homeowner is partying. If Mr. or Ms Scammer sets up an appointment for you to be at a facility way out in Cook County, they will have more time to make a clean get away after cleaning out your house. So please practice social conscience as well as distancing. Be safe, in every possible meaning of the phrase.
Grandpa,
I got back at a scammer! I got a robo-call telling me that they are the Social Security Administration and that they have noticed some illegal activity on my Social Security number. I was to press one on the dial to talk to an investigator. I did. The investigator came on the line and asked for my name and Social Security number. I went into an act telling the investigator that the FBI hasn’t been able to find me or the bodies that I have buried. I said that if the FBI can’t find me, Social Security never will. I said they can shut of my card all they want because I still get checks from several other social security numbers so it won’t hurt me at all. I then hung up on them. It has been a week and I have not gotten any more calls from them.
Grandpa says: And while you were making your speech, the scammer was talking long distance to his buddies overseas on your phone bill. When you pressed one to talk with the investigator, you authorized the caller to bill his call to your phone bill. Don’t believe me? Watch your next phone bill. Next time, just hang up the phone. It is that easy. Really.