Editor’s note: Recently in The Voice, the announcement was made of the death of the conductor of the column, Ask Grandpa, which provided readers with 503 weeks of sage advice, humor, and continuity. Below is the repeat of the March 4, 2021 column. The Voice will continue to offer previous columns. We invite special requests of previous columns.
Grandpa,
With all this election hype going on, I have advice given me years ago by my father. He told me that Republicans are biblebeating control freaks, Democrats are socialist-control freaks and Libertarians are burned out hippie freaks. Don’t vote for any of them. I am taking his advice.
Grandpa says: Thank you! That is the best example of close-minded impersonal labeling I have heard in a long, long time. Just so you know, I did get this letter from you way back in October 2020. I used my option to not print it until long after the presidential elections were over. That decision was a subtle public service. I was not sure it would be wise to publish it prior to the election. There was already too much negative campaigning going on at the time. Ignorance and hate do not need my help to be prosperous.
Grandpa,
I have been dating (a man) since we met on Thanksgiving Day. We have made some wonderful plans together. We are so completely compatible. Last night he introduced me to his new girlfriend! He said he just fell head over heels in love with her and wants to break off our relationship. (Grandpa is deleting a very lengthy essay on the other woman’s negative traits.) I just want to get even with her for taking (the boyfriend) away from me.
Grandpa says: Why? What did she do that you did not do? She fell for the looks and slimy words of an immature man who is not able to commit to a relationship. She will be just as much a victim of this guy as you are. Grandpa is quite positive that she had no knowledge of you before she was drawn into his lair. She was not out to hurt you, so why would you go out to hurt her? Alleviate your pain by doing an act of kindness; forewarn her of his penchant to change girlfriends at will. Be grateful to be shed of him. But under no circumstances should you take him back when this new girl wises up and dumps him. If you do, you are just setting yourself up to be hurt again.
Grandpa,
I have a buddy who worked at (a local gas station). He never charged me for coffee when I would come in. He told me that he is allowed free coffee when he is working and as long as I used my own cup, I could get as much as I wanted for free. He said that he can’t take inventory of coffee after it is brewed so he will never get caught. He got caught and fired. Now he is blaming me for him losing his job. This is putting a strain on our friendship.
Grandpa says: You are lucky you weren’t charged with shoplifting. That coffee never belonged to your friend. You knew it was wrong to take it and you used your friendship with him to get coffee illegally. You are both equally guilty. Take your full half of the responsibility. Learn from your error. Apologize to your friend.