Nothing pays tribute to our two greatest presidents on Presidents Day, more than a good, old-fashion mattress sale. For any of you MAGAs out there, I’m referring to George and Honest Abe. We recently celebrated Valentine’s Day, the day dedicated to love. And if you and your special other had your vital organs systematically pierced with cupid’s arrows, you may want to rush out and take advantage of the President’s Day Sale.
This Valentine’s Day I thought I’d get my wife something special because I’ve been somewhat frugal and unromantic the past few. I’m always getting these ads for Omaha Steaks in the mail, so this year I figured to take advantage of one of their specials. The Company was a partner with Ghirardelli and created a chocolate-covered beef heart. It’s sent packed in dry ice and when it’s thawed and popped in the slow cooker, it makes its own chocolate gravy. Nothing says love more than hearts and chocolate.
Speaking of presidents and chocolate and love, Rudy Giuliani is getting none of it from the former heartless #45. He just wants the two-plus millions of greenbacks Donald Trump owes him for his services. Since his life, both former and future, has been flushed away like a fire hose flushes away the orange makeup on Trump’s face, taking Rudy’s integrity and honor with it, he can really use the coin to start paying off the 89 million he owes (through legal settlement) to the two election workers whose lives he ruined. Now Rudy can see what it’s like.
Did you ever notice how anyone having anything to do with Trump ends up in worse shape than before encountering his magic touch? Coming into the week, even the Republicans in Congress have absolutely nothing to show for selling their souls, or what passes for a soul, to Adolph Trump. The best bill they could have hoped to negotiate, containing everything they asked for, is dead; they didn’t get their bogus impeachment, they didn’t get their Israel-without-Ukraine funding package, all because Donny asked them not to pass it because it would cost him election votes by making old Joe Biden look good.
Meanwhile, Trump entered the week with a much greater chance that he will face criminal proceedings before the November election.
I noticed, just as probably many of you did, that Donny Dum-Dum couldn’t count to six. At one of his rallies he said he would name the six objects pictured on his cognitive test that he was supposed to identify. No problem with his brain. Without hesitating, he quickly named all five (?). He laid out some kind of ridiculous math problem he was asked to solve that wasn’t even on the simple test he took.
And listen up all you Swifties out there. You and Taylor should be holdin’ to the self-proclaimed genius Donald J. because he’s the one who made Taylor Swift a billionaire. He is currently sniveling into his Big Mac because she won’t endorse him. Why? Because she has a brain.
Finally, radical nut job and former Trump-worshipper, Ann Coulter, was asked what Trump could do to help the country.
She said, “Maybe he could die.”
No comment.