Those who enter the world of an isolated elderly person, sharing in their day-to-day pains and frustrations, and who follow alongside their journey, are an exemplary and compassionate group.
Senior Services Associates, Inc. calls them Friendly Visitors. Their companions know they as saints. John Aman of Montgomery is one such individual. John began volunteering to visit seniors isolated at home just a couple years ago, unaware of the journey on which he was about to embark.
“After retirement, I thought I would like to write grants, asking for money for a purpose, for good causes,” he said. That brought him to Senior Services and volunteering as a friendly visitor. In his second year, John has been a companion to two individuals.
“I met my first companion, Lee, just before his birthday, and soon before he passed away. He was a long-time dialysis patient. We met on Wednesdays, because it was one of his free days. Sometimes he would be very tired. I soon discovered he was a very intelligent man. He was losing his eyesight but would spend his days listening to tapes by The Economist. I had to be on my toes to talk with him, as he constantly challenged my intellect. I was giving time and company to him, and he was giving to me too,” John said. “I promised help if he and his wife would ever need it, and one day she called saying she needed help getting him in the house after dialysis. That was something that I was glad I could do for him,” John added.
The assignment of a volunteer friendly visitor doesn’t include doing chores or running errands, however. They just need a person to listen, a companion at home, a bit of respite for spouses or caregivers, and a feeling of dignity and friendship in long and lonely days.
“It’s a wonderful service, it is wonderful for them and wonderful for me,” he said. “I lost a friend when Lee died. The day before he died, I was there and held his hand, knowing he was passing. When he said, ‘thanks for coming,’ I can’t tell you how I felt.”
The Friendly Visitor program helps sedentary people who cannot get out, which is so different than the lifestyle most people lead. Some volunteers can get out and go to car shows, to lunch etc. but, John admits it is frustrating if he cannot get his companion out the door.
John’s second companion, Bill, wished he could go fishing, but was reluctant to leave home. “Last year I finally was able to entice him to get a fishing license, but we never got a chance to go. We did go out to lunch together recently, and that was the first time I was able to get him out of his home,” John said. So, instead, John helped Bill put together a fishing cabinet to store all his supplies.
“I think a person just gets acclimated to a daily routine,” John said. “I’m trying to help him become reengaged in the outside world but not trying to hurt his feelings. We men can be very stubborn, though,” John concluded.
John devotes at least three hours on visiting days. “It’s a wonderful service for them and wonderful for me. It is hard to imagine that you can be with someone so long and not be a friend. Lee’s thanks meant the world to me, and Bill thanks me all the time too,” he said.
“I cannot begin to tell you how rewarding this has been for me. To be a help to someone and spend hours not worrying about my own needs feels fantastic. I wish I had done this sooner. You are giving back. It is only time, not costing you anything, but the enrichment of your life is amazing,” he added.
Senior Services Associates, Inc. recently honored John for his volunteerism, and John gifted them back with a poem he wrote about his experiences. See below.
For more information on this and other programs at Senior Services Associates, Inc., visit online at https://seniorservicesassoc.org.
Barb Nadeau is a freelance writer, whose career has spanned more than 10 years as a public relations professional, 22 years as a professional television and radio host, print journalist, and volunteer coordination professional. She enjoys networking among non-profit social service agencies and service providers throughout the State of Illinois. She is in her third term as an elected alderman in the City of Plano. Contact Barb at bvnadeau@gmail.com.
Butterscotch and Fahrvernugen
I had a friend we’d sit and talk,
About anything in our thoughts,
Economics, politics, and even stocks,
Latest news, local affairs, afterthoughts,
We sat for hours and have a chat,
We’d pass the time in the afternoon,
We spoke of nothings, this and that,
The hours passed by all too soon,
Yes, time passed quickly in a blur,
We spoke of sports and local news,
He knew everything that had occurred,
He was the sounding board I used,
We laughed, we sat, we’d pass the hours,
As his eyesight dimmed, he’d listen to tapes,
His audio prowess, he had superpowers,
He kept me focused and up to date,
He spoke often of his life and family,
So, you all here, through him I know you,
Tho’ we’ve not met, of all he spoke fondly,
Those hours now gone, they were so few,
He’d share a candy with me at every visit,
Butterscotch his favorite, I’ll never forget it,
One thought he proudly shared with me,
He bought a new Mercedes Benz direct from the factory,
Next time I see you Lee, you owe me a ride,
Up there polishing it on the other side,
I’ll miss you buddy your wit and wisdom,
You’re up there now in God’s kingdom.
John Aman