Grandpa,
I take a car pool to the train station every day. There are four of us in the pool. Each of us drives one week a month. One of the girls in our pool prohibits smoking in her car when it is her turn to drive, yet smokes like a freight train in everyone else’s cars. None of the rest of us is a smoker so her prohibition does not affect us. We have all asked her to stop. We have three ideas on how to correct this situation. 1. We could boot her out of the car pool. 2. We could all take up smoking and light up in her car. 3. We could all bring coffee or food to eat and drink in her car. Which way do you think would be most effective, or do you have a better idea?
Grandpa says: You do not give me any of the social dynamics of the relationships involved. Do you all work together? Is there any family relationship to consider? If you choose option three, she may not get the connection. Option 2 is the most unhealthy of the three and I strongly urge you to reject that idea. I believe the first option is the closest to being up front and honest. Let her know in advance that as of the first work day of the next week, she will not be a part of the car pool. Let her know exactly why. I find it curious that she can ride the whole trip without a cigarette when she is driving but cannot do so when others are driving. It almost sounds as though it is a commentary on the driving abilities of the other women. Whatever her excuse may be, it sounds like all might be happier if she found another way to the train station. I am quite sure she does not smoke on the train, so smoking on the ride to the train is just plain rude.
Grandpa,
I have never in my life owned a pet. I do not believe it is healthful to have an animal living in the house. I do not want animals in my home. I raised my children to have the same values. Imagine my surprise when my daughter in law brought my grandchildren to visit and they had a cat with them! My daughter-in-law told me I need to lighten up! She said the children love that cat and will not go anywhere without it. I want to see my grandchildren as often as possible, but not with that beast in tow. Now that I know they have a cat, I will not be going to their house.
Grandpa says: House cats are not given to travel. Let your grandchildren know that cats are happiest in their own homes and enjoy being alone some times. Let them know that their visit to Grandma’s house is like a short vacation at home for Kitty. I believe they would understand that.
Grandpa says: All lives matter. To end racial discrimination, we need to stop identifying individuals by race. Let’s all heal peacefully together.
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