Editor’s note: Recently in The Voice, the announcement was made of the death of the conductor of the column, Ask Grandpa, which provided readers with 503 weeks of sage advice, humor, and continuity. Below is the repeat of the December 3, 2020 column. The Voice will continue to offer previous columns. We invite special requests of previous columns.
Grandpa says: Confidential to “Inmate’s Brother”; the woman about whom you wrote does not exist in the Illinois Department of Corrections. Either you gave me some misinformation or you blatantly lied. Your letter sounded phony when I read it. It sounds more like you are trashing a woman with whom you had a relationship of some sort. Grandpa does not publish letters of the sort you wrote. If you have an issue in your craw, please write again and give me real contact information. The first step in resolving an issue is to be open and honest. Please give yourself license to be truthful. I do not publish information that might identify you so you can feel safe with what you tell me.
Grandpa,
The new plant manager where I work recently was introduced to the employees last Spring. In the introductory meeting, he was introduced as a former rabbi. When I wished him “a blessed Passover,” he said that he is not Jewish! Now his son is working at the plant part time and going to college. He is going to Bible school. This makes no sense to me. Aren’t rabbis like Jewish ministers?
Grandpa says: The word rabbi actually means a scholar or teacher. In common usage, a rabbi is usually one who teaches Jewish law, but not always. There could be many reasons he told you he is not Jewish. The first that comes to mind is that he may have converted. He may be of a different faith and studied, or is studying, Jewish law. As for his son going to Bible school, there is no indication that he plans to become a Christian minister, either. Remember, the Torah is what Christians call The Old Testament. Grandpa suggests that you not try to judge either man and accept each as a man, not a representative of a faith. Obviously, both have answered the questions you asked with all the information you needed at the time. If they choose to share more information, they will. Grandpa would not suggest you pry into the personal lives of your boss or his family. It’s bad karma.
Grandpa,
My roommate is (nearly 50) years old. He talks to his mother on the phone several times a week. She lives about four hours away from us, so does not visit often. When talking about her he refers to her as his mother, but on the phone, he calls her mommy. Is this a sign of some sort of mental problem?
Grandpa says: If it is, my children all have the same problem. My girls still call me daddy. My son always called me pop. I am happy that he has such a loving and close relationship with his mommy. Are you playing psychologist? What is it to you how he addresses the woman who gave him life and nurturing? If it annoys you, stop listening in on his phone calls. Eavesdropping is more of a sign of a disorder than is the way a man addresses his mother.
Grandpa says: All lives matter. Let’s learn to love our neighbors.