Editor’s note: Recently in The Voice, the announcement was made of the passing of the conductor of the column, Ask Grandpa, which provided readers with 503 weeks of sage advice, humor, and continuity. Below is the repeat of the November 5, 2020 column. The Thanksgiving Gratitude column will run in the November 18 issue. Willing participants should send to Ask Grandpa, The Voice, P.O. Box 123, Aurora, IL 60507, or send E-mail address to askgrandpa@thevoice.us . Deadline to receive items of gratitude is November 8.
Grandpa,
There is a problem with the pop-up food pantry in the park to give groceries to the poor. There are too many who can’t go into parks. I am one. I got to register that I did some bad stuff and came out of prison. Being on the register, I can’t go into no parks. I can’t even be around places that kids hang out. How I am supposed to get food? (sic)
Grandpa says: You have a point well taken. Do you have friends or family who are not on the sex-offender registry? Ask one of them to act as a proxy. A proxy is a person who will act in your behalf, in this case, pick up food for you and deliver it to you. You can call the appropriate pantries and ask them how to set up a proxy. Each has its own rules so you need to check with the pantry office. Grandpa wants to thank you for obeying the Adam Walsh Act by staying away from protected areas. I bid you peace.
Grandpa,
Back in the 1990s, my son moved out of state to go to college. His first two years there, he wrote or called on a regular basis, usually to ask for money as most college kids do. Eventually the calls and letters stopped. It has been more than 20 years since he made contact. I gave up reaching out to him over 15 years ago. I never got a response. I know that he got married and has four children. I have never seen even a photo of my grandchildren or my daughter-in-law. I just recently learned my daughter-in-law’s name. It came to me in a letter she wrote asking me for financial help. She wants money to bail herself out of jail. Apparently, she and my son have been molesting children together for two decades. Yes, my grandchildren included. She has made an offer to the prosecuting attorneys to throw my son under the bus by testifying against him if she gets immunity from prosecution. Am I wrong to ignore her request? I am afraid that if she gets out of jail, more kids will be at risk.
Grandpa says: No, you are not to respond to her in any way. Instead, send a copy of her letter to the prosecution with a letter stating all of your concerns. My bigger concern is for your grandchildren. Are you able to take them in and give them a good home? Where are they now? Discuss it with the prosecution so that she cannot use them as a bargaining chip to win her own release. Be vigilant in your resolve to not give financial aid to her, or to your son. They are both users and are turning to you out of their own selfish desires. Think of it this way: Every dime you send to either of them represents another innocent child whose life will be shattered by their sickness. Do want that on your conscience? Prison is the best way for them to receive much needed therapy.