Grandpa,
I have a very good working relationship with a client. We have often met for breakfast to go over various business subjects. It has always been friendly, professional. Today, for the first time, his wife joined us. I knew this woman back in college (many years earlier). She was a total witch, with a capital B. No, we never had a romantic relationship. Hardly ever spoke in polite terms. She was antagonistic and pushy. She had a deep hatred for men and was often referred to as a (Grandpa took out the slur about her orientation.)
Today at breakfast she seemed to recognize me but said nothing. If she is the same woman she was (so many) years ago, I suspect she will do what ever she can to destroy the working relationship I have with her husband. Don’t tell me to try talking to her on the side. You are one of those people who always suggest people work things out. I need to protect my business interest. Should I talk with her husband?
Grandpa says; By all means, you should talk to her husband, your client. Just do not discuss his wife. Discuss business. Discuss the Cubs, the Bears. Discuss the weather and the news. Discuss the breakfast menu next time you go out. Discuss anything under sun, even politics and religion if you choose, but do not discuss his wife. As to how to deal with her, compare her to yourself. Tell yourself, just like me, she just wants to live her life. Just like me, time has worked its magic on her, changed her. Just like me, she….” That is an empathy-building exercise that helps me understand other people. When we can empathize with others, we can stop fearing them and start embracing them as fellow humans. There has been an entire generation born and raised since you last “knew” this woman. Your memories of her seem to be based on prejudicial rumor and gossip. Accept her as who she is, not who a bunch of hormone-crazed college kids judged her to be. Then take life one day at a time. If your client does bring up the subject, just tell him that college was a long time ago and you have grown up since then. Never let a negative word about his wife slip out of your lips.
Grandpa,
Where are the Island of Langerhans? A buddy told me about a fishing trip he took there, and I can’t imagine him having enough money to go anywhere exotic.
Grandpa says; Your buddy went on a fishing trip all right. And he caught you in a gag. Want to get even with him? Ask him to see pictures of his trip. If he does happen to produce pictures of a fishing trip, be it a camping trip or a deep-sea adventure, exclaim, “Wow! All of that is going on in someone’s pancreas?” The proper name of the part of the pancreas to which he refers is Islets of Langerhans. Let him have his laugh. He earned it. Peace.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, 314 N. Lake Street, Suite 2, Aurora, IL 60506 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.