Editor’s note: Recently in The Voice, the announcement was made of the death of the conductor of the column, Ask Grandpa, which provided readers with 503 weeks of sage advice, humor, and continuity. Below is the repeat of the July 8, 2021 column. The Voice will continue to offer previous columns. We invite special requests of previous columns.
Grandpa,
I am in prison in (another state). I have been here six years with 31 more to do. Because of the type of crime I committed, my family has cut me off and I have had no mail, phone calls or any other communication with them since my trial. I can deal with that. My prison job is in the dietary line. I am a server. Today I got the shock of my life when I saw my younger brother come through the dinner line. All he said as he passed me was, “I’ve got 50 years to do.” I do not live in the same cell block he does. His name is (withheld by Grandpa). Can you look him up and write me telling me what he did? Thank you.
Grandpa says: Are you asking if I have the ability to look him up, or the willingness to do so? The ability I have. It only takes a few key strokes. The willingness, I do not have. For the same reason that I am not publishing your name, I will not divulge personal information about your brother; he has his rights to privacy. If he wants you to know, he will tell you. If not, do not push him. What do you plan to do with the information you seek? I don’t recommend that you use it in any sort of self-pity party, retaliation for the lack of communication, or to needle him in any way. If the opportunity arises for you two to mend your relationship, do so. Family is important, no matter where you are or what you did.
Grandpa,
My wife always has been a take-charge kind of person. For (many) years I did not let it bother me. She was bossy and demanding, but all I had to do was go to work and bring home a paycheck. We never had any children so I could tune her out when she got into one of her moods. The last several years she has gotten to blaming former president Trump for all the evils in the world. Again, I just let it roll off my back. Earlier this week she got into a minor collision with the car. She scraped a tree in our yard. I whimsically asked her how Donald Trump did that when he doesn’t even know where we live. Big mistake! She picked up a (type of weapon withheld by Grandpa) and hit me several times. I called the police about the battery. The responding officer told me that they don’t arrest women for domestic violence! It doesn’t happen often enough to be believable. A man has no rights when it comes to equal protection under the law. No wonder so many men end up going to jail for spousal abuse! It should be termed self-defense.
Grandpa says: May I change your word “whimsically” to passive-aggressively? I won’t comment on what you said about the police officer. I will say that nobody has the right to strike another person. If what you tell me is true, I would consult with an attorney.