Ask Grandpa: On forgiveness and keeping our noses safe

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Editor’s note: Recently in The Voice, the announcement was made of the death of the conductor of the column, Ask Grandpa, which provided readers with 503 weeks of sage advice, humor, and continuity. Below is the repeat of the May 20, 2021 column. The Voice will continue to offer previous columns. We invite special requests of previous columns.

Grandpa,
Several months ago, my neighbor was going to help me fix my car. He needed money to go to the auto parts store. I gave him (cash). Six hours later his wife called to tell me that he had been arrested and was sitting in jail. I went ahead and had my car towed and fixed in a shop. Now that my neighbor is back home again, he will not talk to me or give me back my money. By now I have written off the money as a total loss. I don’t want to be on the outs with any of my neighbors, but I am hearing from others that he is bad mouthing me as if I had him arrested. I had nothing to do with it. What do I tell the neighbors who are giving me reports about what he is saying about me?

Grandpa says: It isn’t your place to tell them anything about him. It is appropriate for you to express neighborly concern for his well-being. It is also appropriate for you to tell them that you are not interested in gossip. Since you have already written off the money, what is wrong with inviting the neighbor over for a cook out or other form of socializing? Re-establish a friendship with him. Forgive does not mean to forget. Keep a tighter rein on what cash you entrust to him. Let bygones be bygones. Who cares what others on the block think? You and he both know the truth; therefore, it needs not be discussed further.

Grandpa,
I use (a local laundromat). I have never before had this problem. I did a load of wash over the weekend and it is obvious that someone had dyed some clothing in the machine. My clothes had very dark brown spots and streaks. Can I sue the laundromat for damages?

Grandpa says: The question is not whether you can file a suit; the question is can you win? Does the laundromat have up a sign prohibiting dying of clothing in the machines? Put yourself into the owner’s position. How would you prevent someone from having clothing tainted by another customer’s selfish actions? I refuse to give out legal advice. I will, however, say that if I were sitting on the jury, I would vote to toss such a lawsuit out of court. You use that facility at your own risk. This is what we call “life”.

Grandpa,
I recently saw my son-in-law having lunch with another woman. I admit that I have never liked him. I want to tell my daughter what I saw. My wife says that I should talk to him first. They have been married a very short time. That cheapskate didn’t even take his girlfriend to a decent restaurant. They were at (a fast-food drive-up window)!

Grandpa says: Don’t say anything to either you daughter or her husband until you get your mind out of the gutter and your head screwed on straight. You have no idea who that woman was. Never put your nose into a position to get it punched.

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