Grandpa,
My son is divorced from his wife of (very few) years. It was his first marriage and her (not first). Today his former step son, who is (in his teens) called on me to ask a favor. (Grandpa is withholding certain identifying information). I was never very close to this child and do not feel any family obligation to go to that kind of expense. My wife is saying that he is the closest we have to a grandchild. She asked what it would hurt us to (accommodate his request). I think it was quite brazen of him to even ask. What do you think? My wife and I agreed to go by your suggestion.
Grandpa says: You put me into quite a position here. I cannot reveal the entire answer to your question without revealing enough information to identify you and your situation. You have gotten, by now, a personal reply with specifics. For purposes of this column, I will give my general thoughts. The child has had a rough time with no real male role model. Even your son was not in his life long enough to be a positive influence.
You do not have the financial resources to fill his need. Yet, you have the time to become a mentor to him. Forget about blood lines and family history. He is a human being in need. Sit with him, talk with him. Be honest with him about your financial situation. Toss ideas back and forth about how he might be able to raise money for his need. Be willing to work with him to save his money, teach him budgeting skills. To just tell him no could lead to despair and desperation. What he needs more than the financial help is the adult male role model. You can be that adult.
Grandpa,
Attached is a letter that my friend in prison dictated to me on the phone to send to you. Please print it for him. I promised to send to him a copy of it when it comes out in print.
Grandpa says: For me to print his letter, I would have to edit out all of the filthy language, threats against various individuals, and the racial hatred displayed. Grandpa will not print such a letter. There is a big difference between being proud of one’s heritage and making direct threats against the so-called oppressors your friend identified.
Because your friend identified by name certain individuals, Grandpa is compelled by moral obligation to forward your attachment to the internal affairs department of the prison wherein your friend is housed. The people mentioned have the right to be protected. Your friend has the right and need to be prevented from creating new victims. Your friend has the right to receive additional counseling and therapy to address his issues. Society has the right to be protected from a man so bent on expressing his hatred through physical violence. How you could consider asking me to publish such a letter is incomprehensible to me. Please reconsider your friendship with this man. He is extremely dangerous.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123, Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.