Grandpa,
My husband tells me that he is a member of (a social club) and goes to meetings three times a week. Allegedly these meetings are held at (a local motel). With the COVID-19 shut down, I find it hard to believe this club meets that often. I have driven past the place and have seen his car parked there. My sister and I hatched a plan to find out what is really happening. She said he is obviously meeting one or more women and cheating on me. I could think of no other reason for him to be there that often. We decided to go to the place and wait in the lobby for him to come out of his meeting.
Well, I was right. There was no club meeting. He was working part-time as the desk clerk! My sister insists that he is still meeting women and is very angry that I told her to mind her own business. My husband is angry that I did not trust him and that I listened to my sister. He said he took the job to help get us through some financial hard times. So, I am the one who is wrong in both his eyes and my sister’s eyes. What did I do that any normal wife would not have done?
Grandpa says: You let your personal insecurities lead to the wrong conclusion. I don’t know why your husband could not be up-front with you about the job. I suspect he just is the kind of man who does not want to toot his own horn. A good deed is not done for bragging rights, Yet, being honest about his activity is a better good deed. Tell your sister that what happens between you and your man is between the two of you. Tell him that you are very sorry you went to spy on him. Tell yourself that you are a very lucky woman to be married to a man who cares for you. In the future, if you want to talk with your sister about things in your private life, let her know you are venting, nothing more. Don’t sever the ties of family with your sister.
Grandpa,
Thank you for printing the letter my husband sent to you. You printed it on Valentine’s Day. (See The Voice, February 11, 2021). He told you that we have been together for 50 years. This past Valentine’s Day was our 48 wedding anniversary. May Day has always been another important day for us. It was May first when he slipped an engagement ring on my finger while I was sitting on a park bench in (location withheld). We made it through 48 years of happiness together. He was so proud to have seen his letter in print. He’ll never get to see May Day of 2021. I still have the anniversary card that you sent to us. I keep it next to his picture on the table in our living room. I miss him dearly.
Grandpa says: Thank you for sharing with us. God bless you both.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123,
Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.