Grandpa,
My little sister passed away recently. She was in her 60s. My daughter, in her late 30s, did not attend the funeral. She had a social club meeting that day. She is not an officer of the club, she holds no position there other than a standard membership. I think it is a poor excuse for missing the funeral of her only aunt. She has nothing to say for herself other than she had that meeting. I am so angry with her. If she will blow off a funeral for her only aunt, I can only imagine that she will miss mine or my wife’s funeral, too. Then she wouldn’t need to face one of us because the decedent wouldn’t know she wasn’t there. I am not looking for any kind of resolution, I just want this self-centered daughter to see this in print and know that she was dead wrong.
Grandpa says: You are looking for resolution. If not, you would not have been carrying that bag full of resentment around with you. Did it ever occur to you that maybe the club meeting was her way of not facing the reality of her loss? There are more than 7.5 Billion humans on this planet. That means there are more than 16 Billion ways individuals deal with grief.
Perhaps your anger is a part of how you deal with grief. Give your daughter the latitude to be her own person. You sound as if you may be concerned about your own funeral being under-attended. If so, how far can this self-centered apple have fallen from that tree? Do not judge your daughter until you have lived in her head for as long as she has.
Grandpa,
My clothes washer went on the fritz. Repairs will cost more than it is worth. My neighbor dropped off a small one that he is trying to sell. I hooked it up and it does not work. I told him I do not want it. He insists that I broke it hooking it up. He refuses to take it back and I refuse to pay for it. Can I just take it to a scrapper and get a few bucks for it if he won’t come get it?
Grandpa says: I wouldn’t. You don’t want to make money on something that is not yours. That is theft. Tell him to pick it up by trash day or it is going out on the curb. Thank him for his offer of help. You owe him that, even if he was trying to scam you. I bid you both peace.
Grandpa says: Beloved readers, Grandpa has a tradition for this time of year. I ask you, my dear readers, to send to me a short note telling me what blessing you have for which you are grateful. The Thursday before Thanksgiving I publish those letters. This year the letters will be published November 15. That means I will need to receive them before November first. Please send your letters to the address below. I look forward to hearing from you! God Bless!
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, 314 N. Lake Street, Suite 2, Aurora, IL 60506 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.