Grandpa,
I moved to (the Fox River Valley) from (the West Coast) right after high school. I had been offered a good job. I am still at the same job nearly 11 years later. My dad had told me at the time that I would never succeed and I was a fool. Every time I spoke to him on the phone he would ask if I have fallen on my face yet. Eventually I just quit calling. I do not need the negativity.
I recently called to wish him a happy 65th birthday and a happy retirement. My mom answered the phone and told me that dad died in May. No one in the family had told me. Mom said that because I moved away and quit calling, they were not going to beg me to be a part of the family. I feel extremely ostracized and lonely. I want to make amends. Where do I start?
Grandpa says; You start by watching the birds in the nest. Notice that the mother bird will push the young out when they are old enough to fly. I have never heard of a mother bird trying to clip the wings of her young to keep them in the nest.
Do not go back and grovel. Be who you are. Live the life you were born to live. Call Mom every week to chat. Do not bring up the subject of the reason you were not told of Dad’s passing. Talk with her about everyday topics. Do not brag about your success. And most of all, keep in mind the thought that maybe Dad was using reverse psychology to make you more determined to succeed. Your dad was not a perfect man. If he were, he would have died on a cross. Give your parents the room to be fallible human beings who love you.
Grandpa,
My friend and I just moved in to an apartment together. He is like me in so many ways. He is fastidiously clean around the apartment. His car is immaculate. But, here is the rub. He has not showered or bathed since we took this apartment a week ago. I don’t smell any body odor coming off of him. It just irks me that he does not shower.
Grandpa says; Are you around him 24/7? When I was younger, I used to go to a gym every day. I showered there after my workout. I had not used my shower at home for weeks at a time. Maybe your roomie is doing something similar. Ask him. If you are close friends, enough to live together, it should not be offensive to him to be asked if he showers.
Grandpa says; It seems to have been a very short Summer. School will start soon. Please let us, every one, be aware that children will be walking, biking, and busing to our schools. Drive with caution. Obey the school speed limit signs and the school bus stop signs and lights. Give leeway to pedestrian traffic and bicyclists. One mishap can ruin so many lives. Drive carefully.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, 314 N. Lake Street, Suite 2, Aurora, IL 60506 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.