Grandpa,
Our pastor was taken ill and I was asked to step up to take his place for a time while he recuperated. While working in his office, I found several horse racing forms. Should I confront him, expose him, or just keep my eye on him and look over the financial records to see if he is diverting funds?
Grandpa says: I can give you no higher authority than that you would find in scripture. Wait until such time as he is healed and able to think and hear clearly. Gather two or three trusted elders and approach him. Don’t presuppose anything. Hear what he has to say. If he confesses to an addiction, do not choose to rebuke him. Choose to help him pay for therapy. If he has another explanation, let him bring it to the church in his way. He will do what is right. Humans demand that clergy people be sinless. Remember, Christ died for your pastor, too. Peace, love.
Grandpa,
My daughter is pregnant. She is legally an adult although she has a mental handicap. She says she is in love with the father. The father is a man she works with and is slightly older than she. There are others telling me that she should abort the baby. There are others telling me that we should prosecute the father because my daughter is not able to give her consent. My husband tells me we should give our blessing to the couple and let them marry.
Grandpa, this is my baby and I don’t want her to get married. She needs to stay home and let us take care of her. I normally don’t believe in abortion, but in this case, I think it is the only real solution to the problem. How do I convince my husband that it is not a sin for her since she has her handicap? Our (clergy person) won’t help me convince him.
Grandpa says: How can your grandchild be a problem? What is your daughter’s real handicap? It appears to me the problem is not that a young woman is carrying the fruit of her love, but rather that the unborn child’s grandmother cannot allow her daughter to grow up.
I can surmise from certain things you told me, such as her father’s opinion, the fact that this lady holds down a job, that the young mother-to-be is quite functional in society. I would tend to side with her father. Let them marry and live the life they choose.
Will my advice be welcomed? I tend to doubt that. You mention many with whom you have discussed this issue. Grandpa believes you are not looking for answers. You want someone to co-sign your distorted thinking. Not my forte. Sounds to me like your daughter grew up before you did. Let her be her own person. Special note to this mother’s husband: Such a lovely gesture it would be if you talk to the baby’s father and offer to pay for a modest wedding. Blessings to you and your family.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123,
Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.