So much to comment on this week, it’s like trying to stuff 10 pounds of my nonsense in a five-pound barf bag, while I pretend to care. First and foremost is the recent presidential debate. Poor Joe Biden had a very bad night. After the debate and his poor showing, he had people calling for him to head to a retirement home and organize Bingo tournaments with prizes such as enemas and denture cream. Trump was full of vim, vigor and a massive amount of roughly circular objects left by cows in farm fields. He was fact-checked by CNN and ABC, with 30 lies being attributed to him. There was even, brace yourself for this, totally made up statements coming out of his mouth that he initially pulled out of his bulbous diapered posterior.
Nancy Pelosi said he never contacted her about 10,000 National Guard troops on Jan.6 and never said she accepted full responsibility for not calling in the Guard to hose down the ordinary townsfolk who toured the Capitol that day. President Orange Face was the only one who could activate the troops. A spokesperson on PBS from a politically-neutral organization fact-checked both debaters and found facts given by Biden were essentially true and Trump’s were either false or greatly exaggerated. Who knew?
Next in line for entry into the barf bag is Rosanne Barr. This MAGA Nut Job claims that the Democrats favor abortions because they’re selling fetuses to Bill Gates to grind up and use in his meats. I couldn’t even make that one up. Actually I could, but then I’d have people claiming they personally found one in a Big Mac. Fetuses which weren’t aborted and grew into children were still not safe because Democrats are the party of pedophiles, she said, with her facts backed up by four knowledgeable sources she found listed in the Anarchism for Dummies book.
Rosanne’s been on her way to becoming the subject of an entire episode of Stranger Things for some time, but I think she’s already past that and has now entered the world of Bela Wild Bill Suhayda. She can probably recruit him to join her in blue states collecting fetuses before they wind up in a can of Bill Gates Spam.
Speaking of Wild Bill Suhayda, a couple of issues back he took aim at Chas Coddington and me. I had the honor of being mentioned right in the first sentence of his opinion piece, targeted for my hateful slurs of his beloved 34-felony-convicted, 54-time criminally-charged, twice-impeached, former Liar-in-Chief, DJT. One of Suhayda’s claims is that I assassinated Donny Boy’s character. Doing a quick fact check on Wild Bill’s iteration led me to discover that that was a lie. Trump is devoid of morals, integrity, empathy, honesty, etc., so there was no character there for me to assassinate. That’s a strike, Wild One.
Another of his claims was that I said I’d like to see Trump dragged through the streets to his death just like Mussolini was during WWII. Ehhhh! (That’s a buzzer). Bill, Bill, Bill. Mussolini was shot dead and his body was later dragged through the streets, then hanged upside down at a service station. I addressed this back in January when I referred to Trump’s being too heavily fat-laden to be hanged upside down in a Seven-Eleven quickie mart gas station. Nowhere did I say he had to be dead. Strike two, Wild Bill.
Finally, Suhayda hits on Chas Coddington, stating that he’s a Hamas supporter and a Jew-hater, then goes on for a full paragraph describing all the dictators and anarchists that he said Chas supports, such as Castro, Chavez, and Maduro (he overlooked Mr. Rogers, thankfully) along with their ideologies. Ironically, these are the same ideologies that Trump and Wild Bill himself support, not The Chas. I don’t know if I can count this as a fact check strike, but it’s pretty close. It’s more of a case of Wild Bill not being self-aware. If I’m wrong, beat me senseless with a dead squirrel.
By the way, what The Chas and I object to (if I may be so bold as to speak for Chas) is the thousands of children and other civilians being killed in Gaza in order to take out a bunch of Hamas terrorists. I’ve spoken with a neighborhood right-winger who said, “Who cares? Kill them all.”
We don’t hate Jewish people. Those innocent Palestinian civilians who didn’t end up as canon fodder will have nothing to return to once the fighting is over. Everything they had is gone. They might as well try to reestablish their lives on the moon. Unless the mother ship drops Wild Bill Suhayda there first.