I’ve noticed recently that media and events related to the Christmas movie Home Alone have been appearing because of its 35th Anniversary. For instance, a recent Film Institute reunion in Chi-town of people who’d worked on the film and a mid-country tour and movie screening by Macaulay Culkin. Then a few nights ago, Macaulay popped up on Jimmy Kimmel (his show, not Jimmy). This made me feel old, since Culkin is now 45 with kids, and dragged my feeble brain off Trumpinanity (to the great relief of my other affected organs) and back to the record-breaking-hot morning in March, 1990 when I showed up at the service entrance to the former New Trier High School West (converted to John Huges’ studio), schlepping my wardrobe bag to report for work as an integral, never-to-be-forgotten piece of what’s lovingly called “background” by people in the movie business.
I realize I’ve written about various pieces of this event previously much to the chagrin, indifference, or resulting nausea of you dear readers, but Macaulay’s Jimmy Kimmel interview sparked a couple of things I’d forgotten to remember and didn’t realize I’d forgotten to remember them, probably because of the vast quantities of catered food and treats I consumed that 15-hour day.
On set, I was seated in an airplane directly across the aisle from John Heard and Catherine O’Hara. When preparing his shot to my left, director Chris Columbus (The Help, Harry Potter) noticed that at the angle he wanted to shoot, I was in the frame and off to my right there was nothing but open space, not good at 30,000 feet. To fill the void, he had his crew construct a canvas wall, painted black except for an unpainted airplane-window-size area. When a blue light shone from behind, it would look like a dark sky outside. As Chris did a test filming, a joker on the crew had cut out the silhouette of an airliner and was pushing it up outside the window while he sang the “Dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun…” theme from Jaws. It got a laugh, but after a few more attempts, Columbus adjusted the camera position so nothing was visible past me.
While the crew was working on the airplane wall, Columbus was in the aisle conversing with John and Catherine. He wasn’t happy with dialog as written leading to the discovery that a kid had been left at home. The three of them were trying to come up with a line for John as to what they’d forgotten. Now me being the smart a… er, aleck that I am, I’d thought of a perfect line to blurt out. But having taken an Etiquette and Behavior Course for Movie Extras, keeping your mouth shut and never speaking unless spoken to was a key part of the training. I was torn. I sat there gritting my teeth, gripping the arm of the seat, veins popping out of my neck and forehead. Should I say it? It was like the worst constipation I’d ever had.
I’ll do it! I may never get another movie job and I could get thrown off the set, but Chris Columbus was so close I could reach out and poke him. Just when I couldn’t hold back any longer without exploding, John thought of the line, “I forgot to close the garage door.” And that was that. I thought my line, “I forgot to cancel my vasectomy” would be infinitely better, but we’ll never know.
A few months later, I worked with Chris Columbus on another John Hughes film, Only the Lonely. I thought of asking him if he remembered that day on the plane, and wowing him with my hilarious line. But most likely I would have gotten a blank stare and been thrown off the set.
•Somehow I knew I couldn’t leave this column be without a sad anecdote from our Whitehouse Blob (Donald Trump), and this one’s right from Chris Columbus. While filming Home Alone 2: Lost in New York in Donny’s hotel, Trump was after him to be in the movie. Columbus kept putting him off, hoping to get filming completed and out of his hotel before he had to comply. Trump finally said he’s either in the film or pack up and get out. Of course, the Presidential Slug’s version it was Columbus who begged him to be in the movie so many times that he finally gave in.
On a bit of a tangent, but still about a movie director and Trump, look at the difference between Rob Reiner and Trump; their outlook on life, love and respect from others, integrity, and morals. Different worlds.
Anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays for whatever you celebrate in this season!