I’m so thankful this Thanksgiving that those nutty midterm elections have passed and turned out fairly well. Now I don’t have to relocate to Canada and get stressed out building an igloo or eating whale blubber. Political commercials, be gone! Surely I jest. They’re all ready popping up. Now that the leftover rotting pumpkin that is Trump has announced he’ll run again in ’24, we’ll be seeing his face all over the place. Please help us, Merrick Garland. The fat, orange, balloon all ready has been whining about his pending prosecution, claiming it’s politically motivated, conveniently overlooking the fact that he stole top secret documents to stuff in Putin’s Christmas stocking or to use for negotiations to keep him out of prison. Can you say “sociopath”? Sure. I knew you could. Sociopaths can rationalize just about anything except their own defects. Check out the definition of sociopath and put a pencil check next to each listed symptom exhibited by Donny T. You may have to resharpen your pencil a couple of times.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump doesn’t accept the nomination should he even get it. At some point, even egomeister Donny doesn’t want to be seen again as a loser, which he would be running against any Democratic opponent except for maybe a two-pound-ball of bellybutton lint. If, against all odds, he should be nominated, I don’t believe he has a snowball’s chance in an Emeril Lagasse Air Fryer of winning the election. He loves the adulation, but not the job, because there are actual responsibilities that come along with it. You can tell from his past presidency (I use the term loosely here), because he never read pending bills, or paid attention to paperwork crossing his desk. He never explored anything in depth even if his signature of approval or disapproval would have lasting negative repercussions on humanity. He deserted the White House at every opportunity to play golf, or diddle around some other way. His 11/16/22 speech was fact-checked. All 20 of his claims contained in it were proven to be false. His rallies had many attendees leaving halfway through, or earlier, so security guards, who wouldn’t let people leave, were posted at ballroom exits at the latest gathering of dunces. Say 1984 anyone?
Should any of you dear readers still think that No. 45 is the best person to elect to handle the economy, just look at his list of business failures. There’s Trump Steaks, GoTrump.com, Trump Airlines, Trump Vodka (sell empty bottles on eBay and you’ll make more than Trump did with his full bottles), Trump Mortgage, Trump: The Game, Trump Magazine, Trump University (an especially sad failure, because students invested thousands to better themselves and got nothing in return), Trump Ice Natural Spring Water, The New Jersey Generals, Tour de Trump Cycling Race, Trump Network (vitamins), and Trumped! (a radio show and a book). These probably will be joined by Truth Social because he’s back on Twitter (thanks, Elon…not!). There are half a dozen other of his businesses that went into bankruptcy, but my brain is too Trumped! to list them here. Of course, every failure was someone else’s fault.
I just ordered an interesting (depending on your point of view) T-shirt for myself. Some scientific facts are printed on the front, facts that irritate and befuddle MAGA Trump Republicans and QAnoners. Namely, “The Earth is not flat. Vaccines work. We’ve been to the moon. Chemtrails aren’t a thing. Climate change is real. Stand up for science.” This last one will replace my Go-Go-Goldwater T-shirt.