Anybody out there taken a gander at your 401(k)s lately? If you’re curious, you can log in to your retirement accounts and watch them evaporate like clouds of gas that Donald Trump lets fly in the front rows of a courtroom. Right now, 401(k)s are worth nearly 20% less than they were a little over a week ago. Since the Orange Business Mastermind’s first day in office when he said the stock market would rally, fuel and food prices would go down, Dorothy would live happily in Oz, exactly the opposite has happened. I realize I’m not passing along anything new, but now The Orange Gasbag and his conjoined-at-the-forehead idiot twin are attacking children. They’ve cancelled one billion dollars in food for schools (actually, food for children since schools are rarely seen at McDonald’s drive-up windows) and food banks across the country, taking away meals directly from the people who need it most. At least egg prices are dropping and you know who will be taking all the credit for that even thought he had nothing to do with it.
Trump the Hun now has his eyes set on Canada, which he says shouldn’t exist and he’ll do his best to make it so. He figures he should be the king of the continent and conquer it, making it our largest state. Sorry, Texas. I think Canada should take over America and get rid of Trump. They seem to be running their country better than whichever co-president is running ours, depending on the time of day you check. With Canada as our 51st state, the death rate from guns would immediately skyrocket. Trump, whose generosity knows no ends, at least says they can keep their national anthem as a state anthem because it’s a nice melody. Sounds very much like what Putin said about the Ukraine; because it wasn’t a real country, he could just move in and take it over. If the Canadian invasion doesn’t work out, the troops can always hop over to Greenland, Trump’s target for a military takeover. They’ll be happy to go since they won’t have to listen to more of Trump’s long, rambling speeches.
All the chaos in the markets and backlash against America from around the world is being caused by one person out of the 330,000,000 million of us, one liar and convicted felon named Donald J. Trump. You know things are bad when even Switzerland, the most neutral country ever, is protesting Trump. I hear they now have Swiss cheese stamped with a picture of Trump, positioned so one of the larger holes is right in the middle of his head.
I recently saw charts from Politifact comparing the truthful statements of Barack Obama and Trump. Yes, Dimwit Don blames everything since the giant meteor that crashed into Earth and killed the dinosaurs on Joe Biden, but occasionally hits on Obama. You realize Politifact ascribes to no political party, don’t you? Anyway, Obama’s statements in the bracket of 100% True down to 50% True, he scored a 78%. Trump in the same bracket, scored a 32% (I think they were being generous here, 32% seems high for anything pertaining to truth). And for statements in the bracket of Mostly False through Pants-on-Fire-Pinocchio-Nose Lies, Obama scored a 26%, while Trump scored a 69%. The convicted felon is the big winner in dishonesty. Give that man a Twinkie.
I can’t leave to get some Slim Jim’s and a cold brew, sounding like a Davy Downer. Here’s something to lift your drooping spirits and make you feel pleased as punch: As I tap out these words, Elon Musk’s Tesla stock has lost half its value, costing him billions. That’s billions with a “B.” As an additional punch line, Marjorie Taylor Greene owns thousands of shares of Tesla stock that she bought on an illegal insider trading deal. How’s that workin’ for ya now, MTG?