Just when I thought it was safe to open my copy of The Voice and enjoy all the interesting, relevant printed information, up pops Donald Trump lap dog Wild Bill Suhayda, spitting, foaming at the mouth, and spinning at who knows how many r.p.m.s. such as Taz, Warner Bros. Tasmanian Devil cartoon character. He is now blaming everything, from the cancellation of Gilligan’s Island to the giant meteor that killed the dinosaurs, on Joe Biden and the liberal left, including the taking away of all our freedoms. Unfortunately, Wild Bill conveniently overlooks Trump’s plan to become a dictator because as Donny said, “Some people like dictators.” Bill is one of some people (no “allegedly” needed here). Suhayda has looked no further than the name “dictator,” because it probably sounds classy to him, to learn how a dictator operates. Bye, bye, freedom.
Donny Boy T. says everyone is lying, but him. I could fill up this page with those earthlings he includes in that statement. And D.T. sheds internal crocodile tears because he can’t attend his son’s graduation. But now that the judge has arranged court dates so he can attend the hallowed event, he’ll likely attend his rally the same day, instead. So much for family values. Barron has stated that he doesn’t want Dear Old Dad there (he wouldn’t have shown up anyway) because of his treatment of mom, Melania, by having affairs with Stormy Daniels, whose gory details of their magical night together made everybody in court squirm, and a year-long tête-à-tête with former Playboy Playmate, Karen McDougal. Haven’t you heard, Barron? Those two, along with 20-plus other women, are all lying. So many liars, so little time.
Hey, Wild Bill: Hungary, your home planet, is calling you. Viktor Orban needs people on their knees before him and since you’ve had so much practice in that position with immoral, gassy, convicted rapist and general sleaze ball No. 45, you could certainly do as well for your former countryman and fearless leader. And poor Chas and me. Wild Bill has discovered our secret: In reality we are confirmed Jew-haters, Hamas-lovers, America-haters, baby-eaters, mother-rapers, father-rapers. He even goes so far as to say we’re such despicable guys, that—nearly impossible to believe—back in our school days, we stuck spitballs on the ceilings in the boys’ washrooms. Oh, the humanity. Never mind the thousands of children being killed in the Israeli/Hamas war, Chas and I are now the greatest threats to American life since Tiny Tim. As long as I mentioned it (Israel and Hamas, not Tiny Tim), I/me/my/mine personally think of the warring situation this way. Suppose one morning your family members woke up and discovered they were covered with bed-bug bites. You call an exterminator. He quickly arrives and tells you he’ll end your bed-bug problem permanently. Then he blows up your house with your family inside. He turns to you and says, “See? No more bed bug problem.”
Back to Wild Bill Suhayda, who is obviously losing it, living up to his name. It’s time he became a regular contributor to Truth Social rather than The Voice. The site can use any additional help it can get washing brains and Bill is the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to make those brains streak free and sparkling.