The name “Trump” seems to be plastered everywhere these days: on video screens, in print, and on radio talk shows. Whatever happened to DJT’s 2016 pronouncement that, “If I lose the election, you’ll never hear from me again.”? Just another fib in his ever-increasing collection of fibbery.
Not meaning to get sucked into politically-correct or politically-incorrect diatribe, I read a neither left- nor right-focused article recently on Trump Tower and how its retail tenants are evacuating the place. The building’s promotional literature in print and online boasts retailer tenants such as Gucci (still there), Tiffany & Co. (never was there), and Starbucks (left two years ago). The Trump Café (gag) is there, but its been closed for renovations. It isn’t a big stretch of the imagination to figure out what that really means. The major tenants still inhabiting the Tower are the Trump Store (selling overpriced junk, such as $48 candles) and the Trump Gift Shop (selling leftover 2020 election-bid overpriced junk). The currency exchange, that was behind Trump as he rode down the escalator in 2015 announcing his run for the presidency, has gone to the great strip mall in the sky. Even daughter Ivanka saw the graffiti on the marble walls and closed up shop in 2017. The in-the-lobby, 60-foot-high, greatest indoor waterfall ever constructed now only rushes with 60 feet of pretend falling water. And the breathtaking, from your expensive apartment view of Central Park, featured in print and online was a photo taken somewhere else. If you decide to purchase a living space on the upper floors to enjoy that non-existing view, say the 67th or 68th, you’ll need a hot air balloon and inflatable furniture filled with helium to live there, because floors 59 through 68 are non-existing, even as Donny Boy claims there are 68. Even though all the preceding is true, I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for it to show up on Truth Social any time soon.
Speaking of holding your breath, Trump’s lawyers are now trying to figure out how to handle a new problem plaguing the courtroom where the hearings into DJT’s affair with and payment to Stormy Daniels are being held. (I’m not adding “alleged” because it’s true. So sue me.) At first I thought this was a story made up by left-wing liberals (not the Stormy story, this next one), but it has turned out to be factual. Trump’s legal team is in a quandary on how to handle his latest assault on the court using gas warfare, spreading gas produced by his own fat body. Gas warfare was supposed to outlawed after The Great War, but we all know Trump marches to the beat of his own drum. So how does his defense team proceed? Bring in large fans? Attach Dr. Scholl’s Odor-Eaters over the noses and mouths of those in the kill zone? Or maybe just have paramedics and a priest standing by? A tough call.
•Here’s something of lesser importance to worry about. The Andromeda Galaxy and our Milky Way Galaxy are heading towards a collision. But that’s a million years or so away. Closer to earthlings demise is the possibility of the big asteroid, Apophis, hitting Earth in April 2029, some where in the Pacific off the California coast. It was discovered in 2004, passed us by in 2021, will visit more closely (too closely maybe) in 2029, and could shake hands with Earth (or whatever celestial bodies do to greet each other) in 2036.On a positive note, that may put an end to the incessant whining of MAGA election-deniers, and snarky newspaper columnists, as well.