Editor’s note: Recently in The Voice, the announcement was made of the death of the conductor of the column, Ask Grandpa, which provided readers with 503 weeks of sage advice, humor, and continuity. Below is the repeat of the April 29, 2021 column. The Voice will continue to offer previous columns. We invite special requests of previous columns.
Grandpa,
I need to vent. I own a small duplex and I am struggling to keep my payments up to date. This ruling that landlords cannot evict tenants for non-payment of rent is killing me. I rent the smaller half of the building to a young couple. Both are working full time. They have no kids. They have stopped paying rent in order to save up to buy a place of their own. They flaunt the fact that I cannot evict them. I think this moratorium is biased against the homeowners. It should be a conditional thing, not a flat ruling.
Grandpa says: Talk to your mortgage holder and see what they can do to help alleviate your situation until these deadbeats move on. Consult an attorney about your situation. It is possible that you have another avenue of redress. And don’t be afraid to let the tenant know that you expect them to leave at the end of the lease. That is not an eviction.
Grandpa, I have a co-worker who rides into work with me. She pays me for the ride in and that helps with the cost of gas. What irritates me is her constant chatter about her home life. I hear about everything her kids do wrong, what a jerk her husband is, the house repairs her home needs, the financial woes they are facing, and every negative thing she has ever seen, thought or heard. She complains about co-workers, management and customers. She hates her job and everyone there. I have tried to help her out by giving her advice on how to handle certain things but she won’t listen to me. She just continues to do things that create problems for herself. What can I do to help her stop living this self-destructive lifestyle or shut the **** up?
Grandpa says: That all depends on what you want. Do you want to save the world, help this lady, or pat yourself on the back? Are looking to just shut her up? Or is your ego hurt that she is not grasping at every straw that you offer? The first thing you need to understand is that she is not looking for advice. She wants to vent. By talking out her problems, be they real or imagined, she has an opportunity to think things through. The only thing about her that you need to take personally is the fact that she trusts you enough to air her thoughts and feelings. That is a compliment to you. Take it as such and never violate that trust. Do not discuss her life with anyone. Let her ramble on. Look for other topics of conversation in which to engage her. If that is more than you care to bear, ask her to find another ride to work. If you come out and tell her to just shut the deleted up, you will just be giving her more negativity to nurture. I have to wonder how much attention she is not getting from family and friends compared to how much she perceives she needs. I bid you peace.