Editor’s note: Recently in The Voice, the announcement was made of the death of the conductor of the column, Ask Grandpa, which provided readers with 503 weeks of sage advice, humor, and continuity. Below is the repeat of the August 26, 2021 column. The Voice will continue to offer previous columns. We invite special requests of previous columns.
Grandpa,
School will start again very soon. I am in a pickle over how to deal with it. I recently became the legal guardian over two of my grandchildren. They have been living with me for the majority of the Summer. They are grade school age and have no friends in our area. I want to be able to help them with their homework. My problem is that I never made it past the sixth grade in school. I cannot afford to hire a tutor to help them and am too ashamed to tell them of my lack of education. Both of the children are very bright students and will spot me for a phony the first time we sit down to do homework.
Grandpa says: My grandmother used to tell my grandfather that if he will help the horse pull the wagon out of the mud, she will draw him a hot bath. She meant the bath for my grandfather, not the horse. Her point was there is nothing so difficult that a bit of working together wouldn’t solve. Instead of hiding your lack of education from your grandchildren, use it to their advantage. Let them teach you. There is no better way to learn than to teach. They have the books and the materials; you have the life experiences. Relate what they are learning to what you have already learned. Every concept that presents itself in their education had a practical application in your life. Let them teach you what they are learning and you will look to them like the wisest woman on the planet.
Grandpa,
My wife thinks I don’t know it, but she bumped something with her car and broke the lens over (a) turn signal. The way we park in the garage, it is hard to see. It has been broken well over a week and she hasn’t said anything to me about it. I am not angry over it; I just don’t know why she hasn’t told me about it. How should I let her know that I already know and am not concerned? I don’t want her fear of telling me to make her miserable.
Grandpa says: Maybe she hasn’t said anything because she may be unaware of its being broken. On the surface you seem to be very compassionate. Yet, to just assume that she is hiding something from you speaks volumes. To presume she did it speaks even more. What is wrong with just asking her if she has any clear plastic packaging tape? When she asks what you need it for you can tell her that you want to patch the turn signal lens on her car. If you must be nefarious about it, cut out this column and enclose it in a “Thinking of You” card. Write something loving and tender in the card. Your sweet words will get her to tell you truth. It is up to you to never throw it back in her face that she kept a secret from you. If she says she did not know about it, you should believe her.