Editor’s note: Recently in The Voice, the announcement was made of the death of the conductor of the column, Ask Grandpa, which provided readers with 503 weeks of sage advice, humor, and continuity. Below is the repeat of the July 22, 2021 column. The Voice will continue to offer previous columns. We invite special requests of previous columns.
Grandpa,
I am steamed! Yesterday my dad came home and told me that last time I used his car, I put a scratch in the passenger side front fender. I know I did not do that. I have not used his car in several days. Why didn’t he notice it earlier? I think either he did it, or someone scraped his car while it was parked at his job. He now will not let me use the car until I pay the repairs.
Grandpa says: You have stated your case to him. If he chooses to not believe you, that is on him. As you both have had access to the car, you can offer to share the cost of the repair without claiming the fault. Or you can ask him to drive you to the places you need go, such as work while you save up to buy your own car. Should you be entrusted again with another person’s vehicle, do a walk around it with the camera on your phone photographing the condition before you even open the door. Do the same when you return the vehicle. In the meantime, it is his car and he has the right to say who can and cannot drive it. Some day, you will have a teenager. Remember the things that you do not like about the teen years when making choices on how you will raise your teen.
Grandpa,
You are so off base with your advice to the guy whose wife left him for the father of the baby. (See The Voice, April 15, 2021). Obviously, you have never been divorced. I say ‘Burn that B****!” She has been cheating on him while he is buying her jewelry. She used their anniversary to dump him. If she will tear out his heart, then she will tear out his wallet, too. He should strike first. Get a lawyer to make sure he gets the house, the car, the bank accounts, even the air she breathes! And take back all the jewelry. A woman like that does not deserve to keep anything. Trust me. I know. I am going through my fourth divorce. He has to fight dirty just to keep his head above water.
Grandpa says: I edited out a major portion of your letter because you included a great deal of personal information that was not proper for this column. Your main point is still intact. Grandpa is not sure whether you are bitter because of the divorces, or you have been divorced so often because of the bitterness. In either case, Grandpa would recommend one cover their assets by using logic and compassion, rather than anger and vindictiveness. Oprah Winfrey said it best. “The only one you should try to get even with is someone who helped you along the way.” Why burn up all that energy, court time, and expense just to hurt another human being? Every dog in a dog fight comes out bloody. Get the separation over amicably and quickly so you can get on with your life. Karma can be forgiving.