Grandpa,
My son was born with a third arm. It was a tiny growth of a limb coming out at his shoulder, on his back. It was surgically removed at birth. He has a scar from the surgery, and we told him he just needed an operation at birth. We have never told him that it was a third arm because we did not want him to feel like a freak of nature. Now he is in his (adulthood) and his girlfriend is pregnant. I want to tell him what that scare really is so that his girlfriend’s doctor can watch for the same thing in her baby. My husband says to keep my mouth shut because saying anything will just add something more for our future daughter-in-law to worry about. I told him I would write and ask your opinion. Should I warn them or not?
Grandpa says: Were you warned when you were carrying your son? What could you have done with that foreknowledge? Did your son have a happy, normal, life? Do you really believe that such an anomaly would hit two successive generations? Take your mind off of potential problems and plan a baby shower.
Grandpa,
Several years ago a waitress wrote and said she could not dress in a Halloween Costume because she was a registered sex offender. You gave her a suggestion. (See The Voice, October 29, 2016.) I am in the same position, except I work in a shoe store. Any ideas?
Grandpa says: The whole idea behind not allowing registered offenders to wear costumes is based on two premises. Both are equally valid.
One is to not attract the attention of children and give them cause to approach, or feel a trust toward the offender. The other is to not hide the identity of the registrant by altering the facial features of the former offender.
So, as a shoe store employee, you can dress in other garb that would not attract children or hide your face. You might just make a T-shirt that has something clever, such as, “I get a kick from shoes.”
My question to you is: Do you really think it is wise for you to be working in a place where parents bring their children to buy shoes? Have you considered your offending cycle, your triggers, and your interventions? Your fetishes? Yes, I had been in prison ministries long enough to understand offending cycles. I have taught classes to men in prison. I hope you had taken all of the possible treatments offered. One person who reoffends, hurts everyone who does not reoffend.
Grandpa says: Beloved readers, Grandpa has a tradition for this time of year. I ask you, my dear readers, to send to me a short note telling me what blessing you have for which you are grateful. The Thursday before Thanksgiving I publish those letters. This year the letters will be published in the November 21 issue. I will need to receive them before November 10. Please send your letters to the address below. I look forward to hearing from you! God Bless!
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123, Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.