Grandpa,
There is something wrong with the way my daughter thinks. She has a nice career, earns a good living, but wants her friends to think she is a common thief. One example; yesterday she and a girlfriend went out shopping. She went into a liquor store and came out with a bottle of booze in her purse. She told me later that her friend was very impressed that she got away with shoplifting. My daughter thought is was great fun to fool her friend. She told me that she bought it and put it into her purse. She pulls stunts like this a lot. Should I tell her friends that she is lying, or should I just let her have her fun?
Grandpa says: No! She is a sick individual and needs help. Sadly, she won’t seek help until she sees it is a problem for her. Do not let her relive the experiences by letting her tell you about them. Encourage her to seek help from a counselor. Tell her that you did not raise a thief and you do not want to be shamed by those believing you did. Eventually word will get around to her employer and she could face termination, or worse. She is seeking a very unhealthy form of attention. She is making her own future, and that is her right, even if it is her wrong.
Grandpa,
My son’s former girlfriend wants to go on (a television show where couples argue and fights break out) to accuse my son of cheating on her. He refuses to get involved in the melodrama. He has no commitment to her, they have no children, do not live together, and are no longer dating. My wife wants him to go on television to defend his honor.
His thinking is like mine. It is over between them and let it rest at that. His mother and his former girlfriend both are pushing him to go, for different reasons. The producers have called him and he said no. They informed her that the show will not let her go on unless they both do. With that, she has increased the pressure on him.
Grandpa says: Your son is wise to avoid that type of low-brow sensationalism over an ended affair. He might try getting an order of protection to keep her from contacting him. Have him check with an attorney for advice.
Just as with the letter above, this young lady seems to have a dire need for attention in an unhealthy way. Grandpa is suggesting that your son keep a log of the times, dates, and places his former girlfriend tries to contact him, as well as his response. Such a log could prove very useful later, should she not back off. It is imperative that he give her no feed back because that is what she is looking to get out of him. It is a form of power and control over him. Help your wife to understand that your son does not need to defend his honor. It is obvious.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123,
Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.