Ask Grandpa: Sites to visit out of this world, strangely

Ask Grandpa
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Grandpa,
Some time back you helped me with a joker who told me he had been on a fishing trip. See The Voice, March 22, 2018. Well, he is at it again. He told a co-worker that he has a swollen “enselados” (sic), so he may have to take a few sick days. I am pretty sure that he is pulling another gag because I cannot find that word on line or in the dictionary. How can I bust him when he tries to tell me the same story?

Grandpa says; This clown’s cheese has slipped way off of his cracker! You cannot find the word because you have the spelling wrong. I believe the word you are seeking is “Enceladus”, not to be confused with “enchiladas”. Named for one of the giants in Greek mythology, Enceladus is the sixth largest moon of Jupiter. There is some speculation in the scientific community that life could exist in the warm oceans of that satellite.

You want to bust your buddy? When he tells you he has a swollen Enceladus, remark that this could be why it looks so orange. Or you could tell him that you know that it is not a body part, it is a place. Let him know you visited the area when your flight had a lay over there on a return trip from Europa. Leave him scratching his head over that one. I have to admit; your associate does have a slick sense of humor and can contort the English language in some amusing ways.

Grandpa,
Why is corned beef called corned when there is no corn used in the cooking of it? Is it because the beef was fed corn?

Grandpa says; That is a good question! It took some research to find your answer. A beef processor in Iowa was very helpful. I learned that the processing of beef has a long history of attempts to preserve the meat for both shipping and storing on the ranges where it is grown. One of the ways the beef is preserved is to soak it in a brine fluid. The brine is made with large pieces of salt called salt corns. The various other ingredients give the meat its unique texture and flavor. Try as I did, I could not get this spokesperson to give me a recipe to convert a roast into corned beef. I was, however, blessed with a myriad of recipes using corned beef in ways that I had never considered. Now, Grandpa needs to use great restraint to not sample every recipe I was given.

Grandpa says; I ask you, my dear readers, to send to me a short note telling me what blessing you have for which you are grateful. Thursday before Thanksgiving I publish those letters. This year the letters will be published November 15. That means I will need to receive them before November 1. Please send your letters to the address below.

Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, 314 N. Lake Street, Suite 2, Aurora, IL 60506 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.

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