Ask Grandpa: Some closeness apparently missing

Ask Grandpa
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We have been married for about three years. At first there was a lot of passion in our marriage. My husband has a good job and I work part time. We have no kids and we don’t want any, yet. We bought a house that is well within our budget. We save our money and do not spend recklessly. We have a very good life going for us except in the romance department.
Just since Spring, I am noticing some changes in our closeness. If I snuggle up close to (him), he will hold my hand, but not hug me. Kisses have become perfunctory pecks. He is still very attentive when it comes to sharing the house work, but the little personal things are gone. Things like bringing me tea, or massaging my feet, or opening doors. I miss those things. Do you think he might be tired of being married?
Grandpa says: He might be. Or maybe he is falling into a comfortable routine. Or maybe he is reverting back to his real self, sliding out of courtship mode and into married-man mode. I strongly suggest you not harp at him about it, don’t try anything underhanded to trick him into going back to the way he was at first.
Every couple eventually goes through what you are describing. It is called life. He is comfortable with you. You cannot ask for a greater compliment. Comfortable is the key to a long and happy marriage. He must love you dearly to be comfortable with you. Some time when he seems preoccupied, offer him a penny for his thoughts. I am sure he will give you his two cents worth.
I recently had my car detailed at a car wash. They did a great job. The car looks beautiful. I tipped the service people well. After I left, I discovered that all the coins I keep in the ashtray are gone. I went back to the place and demanded the return of my coins. The ownership told me there is nothing to do for me. Can you publish the name of this rip off company, so others can avoid it?
Grandpa says: No. You left the money in the car. It is on you.
I hate the fact that some are so dependent on smart phones. I am running into jobs that now require applicants to have a smart phone in order to be considered for a job. And everywhere you go salespeople are telling us to get the app for this or that. I was at the drive-up window of (a fast food place) and the clerk at the window asked to see my app on my phone to get a discount. I drove off without my order just to teach her a lesson. I hate smart phones and I refuse to be badgered into using one.
Grandpa says: I do not have a smart phone, either. I have no need for everything it is programmed to do. Others seem to need them. So let them. Let it go.
Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, 314 N. Lake Street, Suite 2, Aurora, IL 60506 or send an E-mail to

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