Grandpa,
What do you think of guests who bring plastic ware to a party with the intent of taking food home with them? We had invited some friends over to enjoy an early cookout in our yard. One of my co-workers came prepared to take home a lot of left-over food. Early on in the party she started packing away meats, desserts, and snacks and putting them into her car. I mentioned to her that the potato salad had mayo in it and should not sit in a warm car for long. Secretly I hoped that would shame her into either leaving or stop packing food. Her response was to tell me not to worry because she has a cooler in the car! I was so steamed I asked her to please, “leave a little something for everyone else to eat while at the party.” She giggled and told me there was plenty! What could I have done to politely let her know that she was not welcome to grab before everyone had eaten? She will never again be invited to anything I am host.
Grandpa says: You want to politely inform her that she was rude and boorish? It is too late. That horse is already half-way around the track. As you said, she will never again get an invitation to one of your soirees. You need do nothing more to shame her. She did enough herself. Your other guests saw what she did. There is little chance that you ever can get it through her head that she was a social clod. As to what I think, that is irrelevant. What matters is your thoughts. Harping on the subject post-celebration is bad karma. It ruins the entire event for you. Continue your party with your friends and neighbors. Should you ever encounter someone else pulling that stunt, pull no punches. Quietly tell the offender that the party is not over and it is not a soup line or deli counter. Never make an embarrassing scene at a social event. See Proverbs 26:4.
Grandpa,
I am retired and disabled. I have a health care worker who is a good man. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was his age. He is close in age to my daughter. My daughter has a crush on him. I am not surprised, actually. She falls in love easily as evidenced by her four divorces. My aide has been divorced three times. My daughter makes a point of dropping in to visit when my aide is at my house. I can see what her game is and I don’t like it. Should I warn my aide to avoid her, or should I ban her from coming to my house when he is here? What would you do in my situation?
Grandpa says: I would let the daughter know that he, too, has a trail of broken hearts behind him. If he is not showing interest, don’t fret it. If he is showing interest, and they are both adults, let them be. You cannot control them, so don’t try.
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