I’m OK, You’re Not
At any time, there are many individuals down in the dumps due to feelings of inadequacy and uselessness. You may be one of them. If you are, I’m here to offer some positive affirmation: You are correct. Here is some positive reinforcement.
To further aid you in your state of uselessness, here are some bits of useless information to bolster you in your current useless state or if you happen to be selected as a contestant on Jeopardy!:
- The name WD-40. “WD” indicates what it does (water displacement) and “40” is the number of times the inventor tried to get it to work.
- In England’s olden days, residents used to cure headaches by cutting a lock of hair, boiling it in their urine, then tossing the hair into the fire. No more headaches! They later discovered their headaches could be cured more quickly by boiling an annoying neighbor in urine.
- The Aleuts, northern Alaska’s indigenous people, may at first seem stand-offish or aloof, but when you get to know them you’ll discover that the majority of them are dead.
- No matter where you travel in the world, when you want to exchange dollars for local currency, the dollar is always worth less than it was the day before. Your only option is to exchange your currency the day before.
- Cultures across the earth that get the evil eye from someone is bad luck have developed ways to ward it off. Europeans wear a locket containing a prayer. Chinese use a six-sided mirror called a pa kua. Americans use a fist in the evil eye to solve the problem.
- The literacy rate in Tokyo is 99%, which coincidentally, happens to be exactly 99 times that of the U.S. Congress.
- It’s estimated that up to one million spiders live in one acre of land. In our area, the majority is in my basement.
- If you had saved every nickel you made during your working life, you’d have a bunch of nickels by now.
- When Richard Nixon threw his hat into the presidential ring as a candidate for the presidency, president Dwight Eisenhower praised him as a “protein-based life form.” He later recanted, feeling he was too generous with his praise.
- Shrimp all form harems, with one male and as many as 10 females. If and when the male dies, he is can be replaced by a female who is able to change her gender to take his place. Ron Desantis has made this illegal in Florida.
- Sea Squirts, small blobby creatures, start out their lives resembling tadpoles with spines and simple nervous systems. They are chordates, the same as humans. As they age, they absorb their skeletal structures and tails, eat their brains and become immobile blobs, much like human couch potatoes
Wasn’t all this useless information a tremendous boon to your feelings of uselessness? Or perhaps you feel that reading this blather was useless. If you do, once again, you are correct.