Have you ever heard anyone, dear reader, say that he was going to Hell when he dies because of his “bad behavior”?
Of course not. Everybody – even those who have committed atrocious acts of violence – believe they are going to Heaven/Paradise, according to their religious beliefs. I’ve read umpteen obituaries in which it is said that so-and-so has gone to “join his/her Heavenly Father” or to “be with his/her Lord and Savior” or some other similar platitude. Not one candidate for Hell in the bunch!
On the other hand, we’ve all got a list of persons we definitely know are bound for the Big Fire (despite what those others might think). The fourteenth-century Italian poet, Dante Alighiere, even created seven circles of Hell in his Divine Comedy, each circle populated by persons according to their degree of evil. I’m sure that I’m on someone’s list because of the “ungodly” things I’ve written.
I hasten to add that I will be going to a fire of sorts when the curtain falls upon my strutting and fretting on the stage of Life. I have opted for cremation. No cold hole in the ground for me, boyo! I’ve spent a lifetime trying to keep warm, and I’ll have my fondest wish come true at the very end. I’ve also stipulated that my ashes are to be sprinkled over the Sunken Gardens in Phillips Park so that I may come back as a flower. You’ll know which flower, dear reader; it’ll be the one with the largest leaves to match the size of my ears.
•Meanwhile, my short-term goal is to celebrate my centennial, 16 years hence. My long-term goal is to greet the 22nd Century.
Hey, think BIG, huh?
On a serious note, I have two regrets about dying. The first one is the obvious one: why now? Say, Mr. Grim Reaper, come back in a couple of centuries, or so. By then, I should be so bored that I’d want to kick the bucket. Or not. Care to make any bets, dear reader?
My second regret is that I won’t be able to chronicle my passing. Death is a unique experience; it occurs only once in a person’s lifetime. But it can’t be described, either by the central character or by any witnesses to the event. It strikes me as a great shame not to be able to write about it.
•Perhaps you’ve heard about the movement to call for secession from the U.S. of A. by the Great State of Texas. The reasoning behind this move is that Texas has not been able to control its border with Mexico and to prevent “millions” of “illegal immigrants” from “invading” the State.
The Chas is 100% behind Texas’ desire to secede from the Union. You may recall, dear reader, that one of the planks in his platform in his bid for the presidency of the U.S. of A. was to cede Texas back to Mexico. The present action is just as good, and The Chas will support it with all of his might.
Texas has been an embarrassment right from the git-go. Not long after it became a state in 1845, it joined the Confederate States of America at the beginning of the Civil War. And it was the last Confederate state to surrender. Since then, it has acted as if it were a sovereign nation. The brouhaha over immigration has been a long-playing drama.
The present governor of the State said he has the “right” to “protect” Texas from “invaders.” He doesn’t, of course. The U.S. Constitution gives the Federal government the sole power over the regulation of international borders and immigration.
So, yes, let Texas secede – and good riddance to it. It will soon learn the folly of this decision.
Just a thought.