“Be slow to fall into friendship. But when thou art in, continue firm and constant.” —Socrates
What a precious gift is friendship.
To give and receive. Another person thinks friendship with you has value and merit. They trust you with their secrets and know your most intimate life details. They have time for you and enjoy laughing together. You know their favorite tea and how they like their eggs cooked.
As I think back over my life, I realize how many have graced its pages and made living enjoyable. One of my first friends was Veronica who lived one block away and attended St. Thomas grade school with me. We were going to write a neighborhood newspaper and charge 5 cents a copy. That is, until her Mother said no. That began and ended my newspaper publishing career! I also made friends with neighbors, Sandy, Carol, and Maria.
Very quickly, I was a freshman at the Academy of Our Lady in Peoria. We formed “spreads” and I joined the “Baker’s Dozen plus Two” named because there were 15 friends all of whom were on the honor roll and all of whom had good character.
I was close to Sue G., Sue H., another Sue M., Carol, and Patty. Sue’s Mom let us take her convertible for rides when, of course, we went looking for the Spalding boys who usually were at Hunt’s Drive-In.
When Sue M. returns for a visit from California, our conversation begins exactly where we left off years prior. We met at age 14 so our friendship spans decades.
Then it was to Illinois State University (ISU) after graduation. I became friends with Jim and we were buddies going to Capen movies, swimming on Friday night, to concerts and basketball games. Jim sent me a white orchid that Easter. To this day we remain connected. Jim and wife Betsy raised five children. My roommate was Jan and we bought fresh strawberries and sat on the porch to savor. If we had the $1.75on Sunday nights, we feasted on broasted chicken. Otherwise, we had to wait until breakfast at Fell Hall.
Today, I have close women friends including Barb, Linda, Bonnie, Diane, Marilyn, Lori, Emma and Jeanette. Men friends include Bill W., Bill M., Jay, John, Jim, Mike, and Steve. What gifts they bring to the table of life. There is also my 2,000 Facebook connections which keep me in touch with former students, relatives, neighbors and former colleagues. I like wishing those I know a happy birthday and seeing their new grandchildren.
And I remember all those friends who now sing in the Silent Choir, including Baby Ruth, Jim, Marge, Bruno, Bill, Al, and 17 relatives I so loved.
Friendship is reflected in our brain waves and cardiovascular systems. Social connection is recognized as important to wellness and longevity. Recognition of the importance of social support has had many studies which confirm its value. Individual temperament helps to determine how we socialize. Good friends feel confident and comfortable in each other’s presence. They enjoy time spent together. They share, give and take forming a robust healthy relationship. They play together at all life stages and have fun whether it is swimming or tennis or walking.
Another way to keep in touch is with letters and cards. My best friends do both and we never forget one another’s birthdays. We exchange gifts at Christmas. We break bread together at our favorite restaurants. We know both the joys and sorrows of each other’s lives and we care.