Thoughts on Thanksgiving Day and related matters

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We’ve just celebrated Thanksgiving Day (I’m writing this essay on that day). Well, not all of us are celebrating, because that day has been so ingrained into our collective psyche that we’ve forgotten what the true origin of it was.

We have been taught that the first English-speaking people came to the New World (a misnomer, by the way, instead a European designation) in order to escape persecution due to their religious beliefs. (Did you remember that while you were watching the football game, dear reader?) Those so-called “Pilgrims” had a rough go of it during the first year of settlement. They were basically farmers, not hunter-gatherers, and the winters of New England were horrendous. Many died of sickness and starvation.

Enter the indigenous population, the Wampanoags to be specific. They taught the “palefaces” how to hunt and gather and which crops could be grown in New England. The settlers held a large feast with the first fruits of their labor and gave thanks to their god for blessing them. They invited the Wampanoags to join them in friendship and brotherhood.

This account didn’t happen, folks. The so-called “First Thanksgiving” has been so romanticized that it has been difficult to determine fact from fiction. Did you romanticize while you were chomping down on turkey, yams, and pumpkin pie, dear reader? What really happened was that the palefaces did learn a few things from the indigenous population and that they put the knowledge to good use. But they didn’t invite any of the locals; the locals were looking for allies in their war with the Narragansetts and somewhat invited themselves to the feast. The “Pilgrims” regarded them as pagan savages and so had nothing to do with them. For the next 400 years, their descendants embarked upon the theft of the lands, the languages, and the cultures of the “redskins.” Did you remember this while you were quaffing beer, wine, and spirits, dear reader?

You are probably thinking that The Chas is pessimistic and anti-American. He is, and he isn’t. He is an historian who knows the true history of the United States, and it has nothing to do with the slush they teach you in high school with romanticized text-books, proclaiming “America the Beautiful.” Actually, The Chas thinks that America is a great place to live. It’s just the people with bent minds who are the problem.

So, what is Thanksgiving all about these days? Why, to give thanks to some anthropomorphic god for all of the “blessings” it has bestowed upon us. How many thanks did you give, dear reader?

Of course, life is not all wine and roses. There are a few bumps along the way which create our tasks. For instance:

A lightning bolt strikes a tree and sends a large limb crashing through your roof.

A flash flood fills your home with water.

A tornado rips through your town and devastates your neighborhood.

A raging wild fire burns down your house and all of your possessions.

You join a protest against an injustice, and a counter-protestor assaults you.

A drunk driver slams into your automobile and sends you to the hospital.

War breaks out between your country and some other country, and your city is leveled by repeated bombing.

A pandemic breaks out, killing a member of your family.

Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters? Not a chance, I can tell you!

It strikes The Chas as odd in the extreme that, after some calamity, especially those once called “acts of God”, some ecclesiastic leads his/her congregation in prayer, thanking whatever god (s)he and they believe in for sparing his/her and their lives. No one questions why this god didn’t spare the lives of those who perished in the calamity. This god, we are told, has a “plan” for all humankind, don’t you know? But, it won’t tell us what that “plan” is until it is good and ready to do so. In the meantime, survivors must emulate Job.

What we ought to have, in addition to a “Thanksgiving Day,” is a “Blamesgiving Day,” whereby we call out our gods and ask them to account for themselves. We should demand that they perform a few miracles (if capable of such things), such as restoring lost property to its original state or resurrecting the people whose lives were lost. We should demand that they cease and desist in allowing disasters to occur. And we should inform them that we won’t worship them until they deal honestly with us.

Does that sound like a plan, dear reader?

Just a thought.

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