Are all you happy Voice readers enjoying the balmy weekend-in-Bermuda-type weather out there? When it’s –10° F with about six inches of snow on the ground, it’s not really the best time for spring planting unless your growing snowballs. So while I’m hunkered down inside, once again I feel I must correct a statement attributed to me, part of the vast volume of tripe semi-regular contributor Wild Bill Suhayda submits to The Voice for publication. He regularly takes issue with the fact that I make fun of the amoral fat orange blob No.45 who, for some ungodly reason, appears to be the choice of the GOP to run for president later this year. I don’t deny that I do.
It makes me happy and seems to do the same for other readers as well. But now Wild Bill has accused me of promoting the execution of his idol and the aforementioned blob. To keep the Feds away from my front door, hauling me away, and implementing me into the Kennedy assassination as well, this is what I said a few editions back: “…Trump would consolidate the government into one big, happy Executive Branch so he could have complete control, an idea he stole from fascist Mussolini. He ended up with his body hanged upside down by a gas station. Don-Don’s too fat to be dragged through the streets and hung.”
Notice I said nothing about executing Trump or even Mussolini (who, not by his choice, did end up that way). I merely suggested you might have to try something other than dragging the fascist fat boy and hoisting him up by his feet. Did I ever say he had to be rendered as worm food first? I could be dragged through the streets and hanged up by my feet at a Texaco station somewhere (don’t get any ideas, Wild Bill) and not be dead. I surely wouldn’t like it and wish I were, but it’s possible. I suppose if it were a self-serve station, I’d have to do it myself.
Wild Bill has begun picking on The Voice’s own Chas Coddington for what he writes. Unlike Wild Bill, whose Ouija board must be worn through all the way to his tablecloth by now, Chas does proper research before he writes his column. I think it’s time that Chas and I fact check anything that Suhayda presents as the truth. There are some astute Voice readers who have taken exception to Wild Bill’s fantasies presented as facts and have bothered to write in. Thank you for that. I’ll keep watch on Bill’s writing and respond to the nonsense. I’m guessing Chas will, too, much more eloquently than I.
Well, now, I see I’ve wasted my whole space commenting on Mr. Suhayda while trying to keep myself off the FBI’s watch list. If you should see someone hanging by his feet in an area gas station, it probably will be me. Just wave as you pass. If you’re feeling generous, drop in and buy me a Slurpee.