Ask Grandpa: What to do with Dad at her wedding

Ask Grandpa
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I am planning a wedding for June. My father is a drunk. He insists that he will walk me down the aisle. I don’t want him at my wedding. We are getting married at a friend’s house. This friend believes it is only right that my dad be allowed to walk me down the aisle. She will not bar him from her property. How do I keep Dad away without alienating my hostess?

Grandpa says: Hold a pow-wow with your dad and your friend. All four of you together: Dad, you, your husband-to-be, and friend. Include the friend’s husband or live-in if there is one. Give your dad an ultimatum. If he can remain sober from now until your wedding, you would happily take his arm on your wedding day. If not, he is not welcome to attend. If your friend does not agree, find another place to hold your wedding. A friend of yours is no friend if she endorses your father’s alcoholism. Now, I will receive a lot of mail from those who want to remind me that alcoholism is a disease. I won’t argue that point. However, just like any disease, if one does not seek treatment, one is bound to suffer the effects for a very long time. Take this opportunity to help your dad seek treatment. May your wedding be most beautiful.

I wish I had paid more attention to your warnings about scams. I have in the past gotten phone calls from AT&T telling me that my account has been lost and I need to press 1 to get it reinstated. Today I got my phone bill. It was more than $200. I wish I had listened to you and not the phone call. I have long distance calls to cities in Mexico and the Middle East where I have no friends or family. Scams are something that always happen to others. Today I found out I am one of those others

Grandpa says: Thank you for the affirmation. In the scam to which you became a victim, the caller is looking to make a long distance call at your expense. When pressing the number requested by the caller, you are authorizing a third party billing to your phone.
Call your phone company to see if you can report this scam and get the bill reversed back to the recipient of the bogus call.
Beloved Readers, Recently I have heard unconfirmed stories of a new twist to this scam. It is my understanding that dialing the number requested will connect you to a fake charity that will then bill your phone for a donation to the fake charity. If I get confirmation of this information, I will publish the information. Please beware of any call you get from anyone claiming to be any sort of business. If the caller is from a business with which you want to deal, tell them that you will return the call to the published phone number for the business. It is up to you to protect yourself from scams.

Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, P. O. Box 123, Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to

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