Category: Humor

Feature Humor International Opinion

Words carry great meaning, often by using just a few

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As societies develop, languages evolve. Researchers analyzed Stone Age and modern skulls. Different jaw placements allow our mouths to make different sounds. With a database of 2,000 languages, out of the 8,000 languages in existence today, sounds were identified that showed frequently used sounds and where. “New sounds are introduced...

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History Humor Opinion

Recalling the lives past of dupers, greasers, dorks

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I’m giving you a heads up before you read any further. I’m somewhat impaired physically this time, rather than my standard mental impairment. While doing some yard work the other day, I ran over my glasses with the lawnmower, which made them unsuitable for seeing through, mainly because they are...

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Wayne Johnson
Humor Opinion

We’ve got your number: Spinning out of control

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Numbers, numbers everywhere. I remember the old days when there were just a few numbers: A three, one, a couple of sevens. Of course, since Old Testament days, there’s been the dreaded 666 hanging over, or worse, possibly on our heads, appearing as a birthmark on a random scalp. But...

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Wayne Johnson
Commentary Entertainment Feature Humor Opinion Political

Catch the Javelin among playful games at Al Demeter Park

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Spring finally has sprung…somewhere. That’s how I started last time, but it seems the appropriate way to begin again I sit here and wait for a massive amount of snow to be dumped on us in the next few hours. Whatever happened to March coming in like a lion and...

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Wayne Johnson
Commentary Community Humor Opinion

On rigors of working on a really old radio to give it life

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Spring finally has sprung…somewhere. Trees are budding and flowers are blooming. The animals in Al Demeter Park next to the Santori Public Library of Aurora have come out of hibernation and are emerging from their dens just in time to get a load of wet, heavy, snow dumped on them....

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Wayne Johnson
Humor Military

Another military account: Invasion of the scorpions

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I hope everyone has been following Chas Coddington’s column in The Voice. It alternates an appearance in this space every week with mine because, for me, it takes that long to get anything coherent out of my head and on to the page. The Chas has been writing about his...

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Wayne Johnson
Health History Humor

Kidney stones traced to Stone Age, to Paleolithic Age

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As I sit here composing this piece, at this very moment, no, that moment is past, at this very moment, no, that one is past now. These moments go by too quickly to latch on to one. Anyway, I’m psyching myself up for another kidney stone surgery, which will be...

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Wayne Johnson
History Humor

In search of the February truth about Abe, George

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I’ve had enough of cold February, Febrero in Spanish, and Xp$qt*Z in Klingon, and I’m glad it’s finally gone. But if your birthday is in February, you may not feel the same. Those with a February birthday were born under the two zodiac signs, Aquarius and Pisces, or the all-encompassing...

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Wayne Johnson
Feature Humor Jobs

Stories in from the cold, deep freeze, distant past, of work

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Did we all enjoy the arctic blast that descended on us last week? Of course not. It’s never fun to have icicles dangling off your frostbitten nose, or Inuit tribes traipsing through your backyard hunting polar bears. But it was the perfect opportunity for our Bonehead-in-Chief, on the advice from...

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Wayne Johnson
Feature Humor

On physics, Planck ruler, and our ever-expanding universe

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If you have read my columns on a regular basis, you obviously have too much time on your hands. Nonetheless (I like it when I have a chance to use “nonetheless”), I endeavor to make my column educational so you readers will feel you won’t have wasted the valuable excess...

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Wayne Johnson
Feature Humor

Do aliens make bubble noises, real life search quesitons

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By the time you read this, the presents under the tree all will have been unwrapped and returned from whence they came, credit card statements the length of War and Peace are in the mail, and veins and arteries are gasping for air, clogged with cholesterol from absorbing gallons of...

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Wayne Johnson
Feature Humor

Something to know: From Vermont to whistling jellyfish

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For this week, I thought I might post some interesting (to me anyway), true facts I’ve gleaned from sources around the world and up your block. Feel free to use any of these facts to make you look smarter and better informed than the average troglodyte. Or, discard them, when...

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Charles Coddintgon
Feature History Humor

The Chas confession humorous on his special acting career

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My colleague, Wayne Johnson, occasionally has graced this page with notes on his illustrious film “career.” The Chas never has appeared in a movie, although he always wanted to; but, he, a poor player, has strutted and fretted his hour upon the stage and then was heard no more, to...

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Wayne Johnson
Feature Humor

Thanksgiving Day thoughts: Unusually thankful for unusual

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Winter is upon us. Maybe not just yet officially, but it feels just like it. In Al Demeter Park south of the Aurora Public Library, the trees have shed their beautiful Fall colors. Although the bears are hibernating in their dens, it’s still a good idea to take small children...

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Wayne Johnson
Feature History Humor Military

Coincidences: Newspaper delivery to the U.S. Army in Seoul

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Recently I was thinking about the days I was a newspaper delivery boy. Yes, younger readers, although I can’t speak for all worlds, there actually was a time in the history of our world when kids made money delivering newspapers. I wasn’t thinking about the newspapers, but about coincidences that...

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Wayne Johnson
Feature Humor

On evolving into the 21st Century technology, shudder, and back

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At the risk of sounding like a doddering, senile, old guy afraid of anything new, and life in the 21st Century generally, which I am, but I don’t want to sound like one, there are many things I would prefer that, when they reach a good point in their development,...

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Wayne Johnson
Commentary Feature Humor

Life used to be tougher for some: Uphill both ways

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During Labor Day weekend I lived up to the spirit of the holiday by doing labor: Cleaning gutters, moving furniture, and whining. The whining accounted for the majority of the labor. Speaking of labor, my unwritten rule for employment is to do just enough to keep from getting fired because,...

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Wayne Johnson
Entertainment Feature Humor Sports

Contemplation of what could have been in sports exploits

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I was never any good at sports, although I thought I wanted to be. My Little League career was hampered only by the fact I couldn’t catch, throw, run, or hit. I’m positive I would have been a much better player if I could have done those things. The other...

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Wayne Johnson
Commentary Humor

On 20-foot tall Baby Donald and kidney stone surgery

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I’ve avoided writing about political stuff lately because it’s been nearly impossible to find any humor in the things coming out of Trumpworld, a.k.a. The Swamp. But one great thing has happened: Scott Pruitt is history! If you have the opportunity or interest, read his letter of resignation. Pruitt writes...

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