Winter is upon us. Maybe not just yet officially, but it feels just like it. In Al Demeter Park south of the Aurora Public Library, the trees have shed their beautiful Fall colors. Although the bears are hibernating in their dens, it’s still a good idea to take small children by the hand when navigating the park trail. There may be other animals, such as wild dingoes roaming the park that could snatch and run off with small children. If you do visit and decide to scale the park’s namesake rock, you’ll be treated to an unobstructed view of the city parking lot and the library’s pick up and returns windows. Some of you wisely may have chosen it for an after-Thanksgiving Day-dinner family activity, rather than falling asleep watching a boring football game.
I’m assuming we’ve all survived another Thanksgiving so we’re able to visit the park. By now, the leftovers, except for Uncle Ed, have been packed up, ready to be eaten until the eyes of family members have glazed over and senses are numbed from turkey overload, the dishes have been washed, football games have been won and lost, and relatives have been shuffled out the door, some to emergency rooms to have head and gunshot wounds from family disagreements patched up. All gone except for Uncle Ed, who’ll be headed out to the garbage with the turkey skeleton if he doesn’t leave soon.
Taking the liberty to speak for all of us, I believe we have many things to be thankful for this year. Taking the liberty to speak for me alone, I’m thankful…:
• Most of the leaves that fall off my trees end up in the neighbor’s yard.
• The predicted zombie holocaust has yet to happen.
• Most of my major organs continue to function. I’m not saying how well.
• Eggplants rarely hatch.
• We’ll have about three weeks without political attack ads on our TVs before they start up again for the next round of elections in 2020.
• Wild dingoes in the western suburbs have decided to take up residence only in Al Demeter Park.
• That on the first Thanksgiving the Pilgrims ate turkeys instead of mole rats because now it would be a much different holiday. Can you imagine falling asleep on the couch watching football and belching up mole rat? Or, in your neighbor’s front yard, be treated to the sight of a big inflatable hairless mole rat wearing a pilgrim hat? Do mole rats even have wishbones? Would relatives fight to see who gets a mole rat drumstick?
Speaking of mole rats, I’m thankful that our bonehead-in-chief masquerading as a president hasn’t inadvertently started World War III by launching nuclear missiles at our enemies in Canada and that he’s declared climate change, if it really exists, will be no big threat to America. The Trumpenator intends to easily and inexpensively solve the problem by deploying National Guard troops to coastal cities and towns, as sea levels rise, to hand out snorkels and shark repellent to residents. It will be the greatest humanitarian effort ever launched in the history of mankind, and he would be the only one who could get it done. Then he can get back to his important work of selling Trump hotel space to his Saudi friends and separating migrant children from their parents.
Lastly, I’m thankful Uncle Ed is finally gone, although I suspect he was carried off by wild dingoes on their way to Al Demeter Park.
What were you thankful for this Thanksgiving Day?