Here we are again in another week of the virus hoax created by the Democratic Party to make our all-knowing, all-powerful, king of all who lives and breathes, the White House inhabitant, look bad. By any estimation, dems are doing a wonderful job. He couldn’t look much worse.
As I pen these words, Dr. Bright, who was heading a team to develop a vaccine for COVID-19, has bitten the dust because he dared question medical information that president Not-So-Bright was stating as fact. And now, our president wonders if patients could be injected with Lysol or sterilized with UV rays to destroy the virus. You could see the color drain from the faces of the doctors at Donald Trump’s sideshow.
Jim Jones, the cult leader in the 1970s, had his followers drinking poison Kool-Aid®. Trump would have his followers drinking Liquid Plumr®.
• Speaking of doctors, the clenched fist of fate is swinging ever closer to Dr. Anthony Fauci of the Trump COVID-19 news-briefing team. Dr. Deborah Birks seems secure because she’s falling in line with the rest of the Donny Defenders. At least Illinois governor JB Pritzker is safe from the whims of Trump. Pritzker has the intelligence and good sense not to rely on Trump and his toadies for needed items to combat the virus, and finds his own way to get what we Illinoisans need to stay safe. It’s put a target on Pritzker’s back for Trump tweet arrows, but if that’s the worst fate he can suffer from Donald, he doesn’t care. At the few federally-run virus test sites available, results from a swab can take as much as 10 days, whereas at the sites the governor established, results can be back in two to five days, and the governor working on getting some results even sooner.
• Because I’ve been cooped up in the house, I may have added a pound or two to my antiquated body. It has inspired me to alter my diet. As far back as I remember, no matter what may have been my employment situation, my living situation, my status as married, single, soldier, or civilian, out of all the things I’ve eaten in my life, food has been my favorite. Even as a youngster, when kids on my block were double-dog-daring each other to eat bugs, worms, dirt, and other objects, living or dead, that could be found around the neighborhood, preferably on the ground or in low-growing vegetation, I stuck to food. But now, to shed some pounds and add much needed minerals to my diet, I’m eating rocks.
Although any type of rocks or stones would do, smaller ones are easier to consume. Rather than kidney stones, I’ve chosen pea gravel, available at retailers selling landscape materials. The stones are smooth, smallish, contain a high volume of mineral content, and $10 worth can last for a month. Pea gravel contains no fat, no calories, no carbs, no cholesterol, yet is quite filling. Best of all, it’s GMO (genetically modified organism)-free and any leftovers can be used on garden paths or in slingshots. Be sure to get organic pea gravel. It’s worth the extra money. Finally, I would urge caution to anyone with dentures to think twice before attempting this diet. Replacements can be expensive.
• Last, but certainly not least, depending on your point of view, because of the recent death of well-known actor Brian Dennehy, 81, I’ve included a shot from the movie, Gladiator. Why? Because I was one of the boxing fans watching the climactic boxing match. You can see me in the photo just as a giant arrow on the left, was about to fall and crush my head. Dennehy, on the right, was the film’s villain who finally gets his comeuppance from John Marshall, his young opponent, who lays him out on the canvas.
I happened to be in the first row aisle seat and was standing up cheering when the angry Dennehy stormed out of the ring and up the aisle. He unexpectedly slammed into me, almost knocking me over the armrest. Thanks, Brian. Whenever I bruise my hip I’ll think of you. That bit of action was filmed, but ended up on the cutting-room floor. Dennehy was a good actor, but in reality, an impatient, unfriendly, guy.
• Before I close, a warning: This writing is a humor column (again, depending on your point of view), so please don’t attempt to lose weight eating only rocks. Because I have to write a warning at all, shows why Trump can be re-elected president.