Ask Grandpa: On ending the ancestral insanity!

Ask Grandpa
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Grandpa,
I am engaged to a beautiful lady. (For anonymity sake, Grandpa is not publishing his description of her.) We met in high school and plan to marry after I have my associates degree in (field withheld by Grandpa.) Recently I was approached by (a relative of the young lady). This relative advised me not to have children. I was offended because I believe with her looks and mine, and I am a good-looking man, we would have gorgeous children. Then the bombshell. My fiancé has a family history. Her father is her grandfather. Her grandmother was her father’s sister. Her mother was the daughter produced by the brother and sister. She advised me that we should not stay in Illinois because the patriarch has vowed to have a child by my fiancé. I find this very hard to believe. I cannot even bring myself to ask my bride-to-be if it is true. I am thinking about having a vasectomy and not telling her. That way we just won’t have children.

Grandpa says; So you want to put a stop to dirty family secrets and lies by creating new lies? If you plan to live a lie, I would suggest you just not marry her. She has done nothing to deserve more deception, especially from you. Do not get that surgery without consulting with her first. She may totally agree with you. If so, that is great. But you need to discuss all options with her before deciding to lie to her. As a couple, work together to end the ancestral insanity. Discuss adoption. See a doctor who specializes in reproductive health. No matter what decisions you two come to together, there will be consequences. Not all consequences are negative. For every negative consequence, there is an equal positive one consequence. Concentrate on the positives. Your life will be much happier if you do. Remember, you are marrying for more than just an opportunity to have good-looking kids.

Grandpa,
I am growing milkweed in my flower garden. I chose milkweed because that is the only plant that the Monarch butterfly can live on. This is my first year planting the milkweed. I read in the seed catalog that bees are attracted to the milkweed. I am allergic to bee stings. How can I get the monarch butterflies without the bees?

Grandpa says; The trick is not to get rid of the bees. The trick is to avoid getting in their way. Water your flowers in the cool of the early morning or just before sunset. Because you do not want to pick the flowers, you have no real reason to be out bothering the bees and butterflies, anyway. Weed your garden in the heat of the day when the insect activity is at its lowest. Never wear perfume or aftershave when weeding because the scent may attract unwanted attention. Bees only sting to protect the themselves, or the hive. My grandmother used to put a dish of honey at the far end of the garden when she was weeding. She never got stung.

Got something stuck in your craw? Ask Grandpa. Address your letters to Ask Grandpa c/o The Voice, PO Box 123,
Aurora, IL 60507 or send an E-mail to askgrandpa@thevoice.us.

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